Rhetorical Psychosis

Trite

2010-09-27T04:46:00.000-07:00

It's been a few months since I last posted and I honestly haven't been missing this blog.

I don't really have much to say; I have to say my life isn't very interesting.

I've got a new job which pays almost double what I used to get. It's a lot less work and quite enjoyable. Good people make it more enjoyable.

Went to Aa ball yesterday. Food was quite good. Didn't see as many people as I hoped, but good to catch up nonetheless.

Uni is better now. Meeting more people, more friends. More free time, I think.

Life is good.

Dean

Feeling

2010-07-13T00:57:00.001-07:00

Got my timetable today. It's good; I'm only at university 3 days a week, less if the lectures are recorded. A pleasant change to my shitty 5-day timetable of yester-semester (haha).

FIFA world cup 2010 is over. Got up to watch the final. Probably wasn't the best spectacle in terms of free-flowing football (understatement) but it is a once-in-four-years opportunity. My impressions:

Spain:

Deserving winners
Aren't all they're cracked up to be. Nice passing and movement only gets you so far. Lack of incisiveness. Demonstrated throughout the finals with 1-0 wins.
Biggest set of divers you will ever see. Defenders, midfielders and forwards; they all dive like they've been shot.
Hall of Shame: Iniesta, Busquets. Shameful.
To be honest I don't like Spain. Possession football without cutting edge is the same as just "parking the bus" as Mourinho would say.

Netherlands:

Brutal, brutal. I don't think van Marwijk would have actually told them to kick Spain off the pitch, but seeing as they didn't get a kick of the ball until about 15 minutes into the first half, they decided drastic measures needed to be taken.
Hall of Shame: Van Bommel for his consistent kicking and brutal tackling throughout the tournament (worst player in modern football in my opinion), but best of all, De Jong for his karate kick on Alonso.

All in all, I thought the final could have been better, but it turned out that Spain won by a late goal from Iniesta. A bit dull in the end.

Hopefully I pass all my exams. I'm seriously worried about my Law exams. Sample answer posted up for Contracts completely destroys my confidence. Shit.

Bought 6 PSP games for $100. Not bad, and has revitalised my PSP which has been collecting dust. Good fun when I'm bored.

Vacuous post today huh.

Dean

Slim Jims

2010-07-01T05:50:00.001-07:00

A horrid pastiche of incoherent thoughts

I thought holidays would bring a greater sense of enjoyment and liberation. It really doesn't feel like it. Instead it feels like I am just burning time. I don't feel particularly rested or relaxed.

Back into papercraft. It feels cool. Kind of like Lego, except cheaper and the figures make good ornaments :)

I've started going on runs again. 3 times a week. It feels good afterwards, but the weather makes it hard sometimes to get out in shorts and T-shirt.

University lifestyle has people going out more, to clubs et al. Personally, having gone clubbing, I think it is overrated. I don't think spending money on alcohol or stuff like that is particularly rewarding or enjoyable, and can lead to problems. I guess I sound like a killjoy. And maybe I am.

Maybe it's because I don't have the opportunity or the money to enjoy it. Maybe I'm in denial.

Maybe it's been a while since I had fun. Maybe I've not had fun before. Maybe my perception of fun isn't what it is to other people, or what it was to me. I'm not sure. Self-confrontation is hard. Because I'm so cynical, it's hard to figure out what my true motives and thoughts are anymore.

Is this an identity crisis? I'm not sure who I am because I've never known who I am?. Sounds like a VCE English essay. Oooh, sardonic and dry.

Maybe I'm just in a rut. I'm not enjoying university as much as I thought I would. I thought my course would be more enjoyable. But as I find I learn more, the more disenchanted and disenfranchised I become. The lawyers I've met, I don't like. Their thinly veiled greasy, condescending manner.

Perhaps it's just a veil of arrogance afforded to people that dedicate themselves to a difficult and often thankless profession. We think "studying law" as "wow he must be smart". On the other hand, we think "lawyer" as "ball-washing ambulance chaser", perpetuated by popular culture. I guess people just accept their tags and enjoy it, and eventually live it.

It feels so awkward to blog after such an extended period of time. It feels disjointed and unorganised. Is this motivation for more blogging? I should think so.

Dean

ELJERO ELIA

2010-06-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

Hello readership.

World cup fever has hit. I've stayed up late (for me) to watch matches.
These include:
Argentina v Nigeria
Netherlands v Denmark
Japan v Cameroon
France v Uruguay
Germany v Australia (replay) - I'll come to this later
Italy v Paraguay
Greece v South Korea: Korea is actually quite good.

So I've watched a few teams play now, and overall the standard is somewhat lower than I thought it would be. Too many draws right now, teams are too defensive. A lot of people are jumping on the Socceroo bandwagon. Nothing wrong with supporting your country's team.

However, as always, I have a gripe (what else is this blog but a collection of gripes?)

Aussies being "football" experts, despite not being able to name any players outside the big four English teams.

This is pretty much the only thing that annoys me. Australian fans were hoping to do well, and get one over the Germans, because of their pre-match comments about how Australia is rubbish at soccer and the Germans would roll over the Aussies. The Aussies called it arrogant and boastful.

Well, it isn't boastful if it's true I guess. Germany absolutely steamrolled Australia, and should have won by at least 6-0.

Frankly, no matter how unpatriotic this might sound, Australia is rubbish at soccer. We did fantastically well in 2006, and overachieved (wayyyyy overachieved) last time, and I think unreasonable expectations are being held about how far we can go this time.

Let's put this into perspective:

Australia are older than they were in 2006. The team has no pace going forward, and the centre halves (Moore, Neill) struggle against any sort of pacy forward they come against. For a team that prides itself on defensive structure and discipline, this is ridiculous, and leaves us prone to a walloping.
Australia doesn't have quality experience. Apart from Harry Kewell, Tim Cahill, Lucas Neill, Mark Schwarzer, few of the players have experience at top flight football (EPL, Serie A, La Liga). The team has a young contingency with little experience at all, and the old heads haven't got the best possible experience.
Australia has no creativity whatsoever. Our only strategy was lump the ball into the box with diagonal crosses, hoping Kennedy or Tim Cahill could get their heads to it, or set pieces, which again, is reliant on Tim Cahill getting his head to it. We can't counterattack because we are too slow.
Failing this, we have no plan B.
We are a direct, physical team. Not the greatest to watch either. To be honest, Australia is a football backwater.

For a country that prides itself on being a sporting nation, the standard of soccer here isn't up to scratch compared to the top teams. Australia were always going to struggle at this World Cup.

A lot of people have been blaming Pim Verbeek for his tactical selection (i.e. not playing Harry Kewell) Personally, I don't agree with this. You are playing Germany, a team that is vastly superior to your own, in every department. Whatever pride or believe you have, the fact is you don't have a chance of winning this match. Why would you risk one of your best players, especially an injury prone one (Harry Kewell), on a lost cause?

People claim that Pim Verbeek didn't trust his players (their quality in attack). He set up his formation so that the team could soak up pressure from Germany and hit them on the counter. Australia are too slow to counter, so this in effect is a purely defensive-minded tactic. However, Australia's defense is too static and doesn't close down the spaces quickly enough (again, because they are too old). Which is why we got trounced 4-0. I think Pim Verbeek was probably a little too conservative here. You aren't going to be able to hold against the Germans forever, so why not just put Kennedy as Centre forward, drop Cahill in the hole, and play with a 4 man midfield proper (instead of playing with effectively 6 men in midfield). Although you're not going to win, sitting back and not trying to attack (lack of ambition) only means you lose harder.

Oh, and for the record, my favourite team is the Netherlands. I think they'll go quarter finals. They won't win because experience and quality in defense is an issue, and they are too reliant on Arjen Robben and Eljero Elia to provide width, pace and attacking drive.

Provided Van Persie and Robben stay fit (doubtful), and Van Bommel doesn't get himself sent off, I think the Netherlands will go far.

Exams are so stupid. Why are they in the middle of the World Cup?

Economics is very soon. I think I am OK for this.

Contracts is also very soon. I don't think I am OK for this.

ILR is next week. I haven't analysed the exam legislation yet. 14 pages of looking at every single word and it's context, picking holes in it. Excellent. I haven't read through the Interpretation of Legislation Act either. Only a few relevant sections, but probably another 50 pages of looking at every single word and it's context, picking holes in it.

I can't wait until exams are over. Then I'll be able to comfortably watch the World Cup.

Dean

Wobbletrees

2010-05-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

Trite fools, wherefore do you think your proud arrogance did extend your reach to the stars?

Extensions of my boredom. I read people's blog. I laugh at their arrogance. Contrast their high expectations against their meager ones. Their small existence so irrelevant in context of the world.

I wouldn't call my mood nihilist, but I don't particularly like people with no sense of modesty. Being partially arrogant, I have the inclination and ability to hate such people. Being greedy, I also hate greedy people. Centres of the universe they consider themselves, they are equally irrelevant as you or I.

This is a really weird post. Most out of character.

A few days ago, I was so behind in Contracts. With some really hardcore revision, I think I'm now 70% of the way through the course, with a fairly reasonable (ahahaha, lame lexicon joke) understanding of the material. I'm nervous. I'm not sure I'll finish it in time.

What's more worrying is the accounting exam. It's less than 2 weeks away. And I haven't really started revising yet. Thankfully I have next week off. Time to cram.

Why is it we always set such lofty goals? I said I'd try hard for University, only to be lazy and have to cram. My constant work in the library never seems to count for anything come exam time. I have to reconsider my study routines and where and how I spend my time. Because study is something we can readjust and regain. We can't get time back though.

Soccer jerseys are really expensive. Was considering buying one; the cost is prohibitively high, and only the larger sizes seem to be available.

The weather hasn't been great for the past few days. It's cold, and rains, and it's rather windy. Call it prophetic fallacy (or even arrogance, ahaha) but it seems to reflect the apathy and lack of colour in my life recently.

I've shifted from Windows to Linux. So far, it's been worth it. I'd seriously recommend Linux over Windows as:

No Viruses (even less than Macs)
WAYYYYY faster than Windows
Stable releases don't crash.
Clean interface without all this extra crapware Windows makes you use.
Battery Life is better (on my netbook)
IT'S FREE

Possible reasons why you wouldn't switch

Software compatibility issues (most things don't work on Linux, but most things have free, Linux versions)
If you game a lot
If you rely on Windows or just like it (?)
Hardware compatibility issues

Personally it's really good so far; only a few minor niggles:
- BT doesn't work, which is a major downer (this is because of my shitty router though).
-No iTunes equivalent that works for iPhones or iPod Touch (need my Windows XP desktop). Nanos and regular iPods work fine though.

Otherwise, a satisfied user.

I like wearing beanies. Beanie hair is funny.

Got driven by Thomas Loo the other day. He makes me want to drive a manual car. I like the sound of the engine and the extra stimulation (or hassle/danger?) of the clutch and shifting. Cool bananas.

The World Cup approaches.

Dean

Persona Non Grata

2010-05-16T00:22:00.000-07:00

Ah Herrow

Past few weeks have been rather up and down. Lots of work to do as usual, with little motivation or goal to aim for. Uni is strange like that; there isn't a push for good grades or hard work; it's all down to you. I find that a little strange.

I spoke to some CGS people on the tram, who are currently in Year 12. It's always good to catch up with familiar faces. They don't believe that university is busier than Year 12. They will see oh yess they will seeee *gollum*

Had to throw this in

Somebody in the neighbourhood has stolen internet from me. I have like 600mb left for 2 weeks D: I suppose that is karma; I have stolen much usage from others XD

iTunes is not working. I have to download Quicktime again. But no usage. iPod is out of battery. Therefore no music for approximately 2 weeks. FUCK.

I also want to use ubuntu 10.04, but no usage again. GG. /geekspeak

I'm so behind in Contracts, it's starting to worry me. There are a few concepts, but like a billion qualifications/exceptions/non-applicable instances that it is impossible to just quickstudy/breeze through.

Everyone and their dog seems to have a Mac these days. I don't really understand why. I've always understood Mac's to be overpriced yuppie fashion with limited functionality. Maybe it's the utilitarian angst in me.

Did a burnout in a carpark recently. Unintentional and somewhat scary. Testosterone fuelled Asian males (or females...) like the idea of drifting. Loss of grip (intentional or otherwise) is a frightening idea to my mind.

Exams are nearly here. AND SO IS THE WORLD CUP.

I'm really excited for the World Cup. I am going to camp in front of the TV for 3 weeks like a good antisocial Asian hermit boy. No change really; from study to watching soccer. Wow I have no social life ahahah

A Worthy Cause to Lose Your Social Life

I'm wondering what sort of car I should save up for. I think a Mazda 2 or something would be quite nice. People often suggest overly powerful or loud cars. But I don't see the point; such a thing would only encourage me to speed (and i don't really need anymore encouragement anyway, such is my wantonly lead foot), and lose my license more quickly.

Because I have saved a reasonable amount of disposable income/capital, I'm considering a new pair of glasses. I've never really tried out those square black frame glasses (NOT those ridiculous rounded Korean ones that make already pathetically small Asian eyes look even smaller), and I've a mind to give it a try.

Cool Bananas

POW

Dean

Chicklet Keyboards

2010-04-24T02:38:00.000-07:00

Had a rather excellent 11 hour sleep last night.

Vacuumed my house this morning.

Everything is mellow, just cruising along. Floating on down.

No, in case you are wondering, I am not greening out or anything. I am just feeling smooth, like that scene in Pulp Fiction where Vincent Vega is cruising in his car after shooting up. Ok bad example ahahaha I'm not on drugs.

Listening to David Byrne's cover of the Man Who Loved Beer.

Feeling so chill. I have no idea why. If I could bottle this, I could give it to everyone. There would be no anger and rage or impatience or anything.

ANZAC day long weekend. We will contemplate their sacrifice and never forget them. But also because the average Australian needs an excuse to be lazy and take a day off work.

Work is progressing swimmingly. Feeling on top of the world. It's strange how a little bit of work every night just takes all the stress away.

I GOT 36/40 FOR MICRO YEAHHHHH

Good considering i got 2/5 for the first tutorial test. Always aim for improvement.

Going gym tomorrow. Excited for that endorphin power.

I like considering aesthetics and their purposes, if any. Like Mac Keyboards. I like those a lot. Apple's products are like art and technology, aesthetics and function. With a matching price tag I might add.

ASEAN ball is next week. I don't know if I'm excited or not. I really don't know. Why is there no public transport beyond 12AM? There is always a market for public transport in the city in the early morning.

I wonder if I need a new bag for Uni. My school bag is functional, but rather unwieldy and fairly incongruous on the bus and in lectures.

Swirling Cloud Bombardment

2010-04-08T04:06:00.000-07:00

After that tame and weak effort of a previous blog post, I'm going to try post something more substantial. Again, this is going to be a random collection of incoherent thoughts with no real moral meaning or educational value. Forgive me, my mind is partially fucked from my accounting assignment.

I think I'm finally starting to recover from that incredibly bad cold I got from ASEAN camp; 3 days of drinking alcohol and a night of being half naked in freezing air will do that to you. But I'm coughing up this disgusting brown phlegm with less frequency. Which is handy.

I have a cool leather jacket now :)

I think I'm finally settling into a work, homework balance, getting used to managing my time better. Which probably should have been developed in Year 12, but whatever, I've got it now.

Mid semester break has been pretty productive so far. I've caught up in contracts, and I've finished my ILR assignment, and halfway through my accounting assignment. Good work. MUST STUDY FOR ACCOUNTING AND ECONOMICS TEST ON MONDAY BREAK MY BALLS.

I don't feel like doing anymore work tonight. Because I have to get up tomorrow and do a shitload of revision and some economics work. I'm also taking a driving lesson for the first time in ages. Woo.

Alright I lost the motivation for posting.

Dean

Jesus had Dreadlocks

2010-04-01T18:21:00.000-07:00

Hello all.

It's been a while since my last post, and I will do my best to fill in all the details:

I'm finally getting used to the workload of my university subjects, figuring out where to spend the time, how much time to spend, etc. It isn't too bad after all, even with a job. I finally got my netbook, and it is rather spanking. Much faster, lighter than my old school brick. Very satisfying purchase.

Erm, after so long, it is hard to post things. They evade my memory. Disregard the first sentence.

I like McNuggets. They are rather unhealthy, but so nice :)

Express Delivery

2010-02-13T19:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year and "Valentine's Day". I would go into criticising the commercialism of such a pointless "celebration" (what exactly are we celebrating?), but I can't be bothered.

Work is going along nicely. I am making money, but I seem to be running out more quickly.
Contact lenses are really expensive. And since my eyesight seems to have improved (!), I have to buy new lenses (which are like $200) and a whole new set of contact lenses ($157).

Plus I want to buy my netbook, which is another $600. Damn.

Uni assignment is a bitch. I have to make visits to court this week. I have to take notes on court procedure and behaviour without knowing what the hell I'm doing. Seriously, why are Monash expecting us to do the assignment now when we have no knowledge of the law? They know we won't have time to visit court during uni, but we don't know what we're supposed to be observing or commenting on during our visits at the moment. Piss me off.

I can't be stuffed driving 20 hours. I think I'll take a few lessons and hax the rest.

Vampire Weekend's new album is soooooo goooooooood.

Ok, I am done here,

Dean

Grease

2010-02-03T17:29:00.000-08:00

I am finally working, and receiving some money. I am in desperate need of funds to buy the books and netbook I want for Uni. I also still need some dark blue jeans and black shoes.

I am at Monash Uni, doing Commerce/Law. Originally I was quite disappointed to be at Monash, not UNSW or Sydney. But all in all, I think that staying in Melbourne is better. We are finally moving out of this shithole unit in December (if all goes well), and I'd prefer to live in the new apartment instead of in Sydney, where everything is set and I only have to worry about study, not about accomodation, legal documents, address changes, finding another job, financial security, making a whole lot of new friends, etc.

Law is a very different subject to learn than others, according to many of my sources. It is very different from science, or arts, or anything like that. The material and presentation thereof is just so different from anything in high school. So I'm glad I can solely focus on that. Plus that commerce degree is just extra work anyway.

I went out with some of the CGS guys for the first time in a long while. It makes me a little sad, I miss the high school days of hanging out with a bunch of such great guys. I probably haven't been hanging out with them as much as I should, or like. But with money, I can afford to :)

The future is looking up, and I am happy. Everything is as it should be.

Dean

Cubes

2010-01-28T01:28:00.000-08:00

What is civil war?

To my basic knowledge, it is fighting contained within a country, by two or more parties usually native to the country.

The reasons for war are numerous, and for the purpose of this post, irrelevant. Who cares why wars start? Religion? Resources? Race? Pride? It doesn't matter.

What interests me is the country itself. Two parties, both purportedly fighting in the name of and benefit of the country. What does it side with? Does it quash the fighting? Unfortunately, most conflicts end up taking many many civilian lives, the very sense of "country" they are fighting for. Like communism, war doesn't work as it is theoretically supposed to. People are intrinsically greedy and are unable to contain their ambition.

This is why fighting for a cause is doomed. Even with a strong figure head, the aim is ultimately doomed to failure; diluted by greed, incompetence, or a mixture of both.

But it is a civil war; it is ultimately the responsibility of the country itself to take care of itself, maintain it's laws and order within it's jurisdiction.

So how can external countries justify their "armed aid"? The country is too weak/poor/incompetent to defend itself. But nothing is so idealistic as "helping your neighbour" in the international community. When a country aids another, nothing is free. The country in "need" of aid usually has some vital natural resource or geologically advantageous placement in a turbulent part of the world.

Maybe i'm just too cynical. Actually I don't know where this vague and incomprehensible post is going.

Peace

Dean

The Communist Curry

2010-01-22T01:34:00.001-08:00

In a vague and incoherent frame of mind, I have decided to write poetry. Mum made this dish the other night. Apparently the Communist government encouraged it as a cheap way of sustaining the peasants crucial in the agricultural revolution.

The Communist Curry

Yellow, Cumin, Tumeric
Pungent odour
Old Beef,
Thick chunks.
Potatoes
Stains in the pans
Thin but rich
Reminds us
Of better times

Hip-hop inspires creativity :)

Dirt

2010-01-06T02:07:00.000-08:00

Back again. The first thing I do when I get net access is to blog. YOU CAN'T SAY I'M NOT DEDICATED EH

Today I rummaged through my luggage and found a T-Shirt that I had forgotten amidst the tangle of clothing in my bag. It was white, unusually so. I compared it to a shirt I was wearing (also white). I had previously been outside for a good few hours checking out the site of the Shanghai Trade Expo Fair, which is currently a construction site, and for lack of a better phrase, a dirt pile of shite.

Upon inspection, it was unmistakably greyer than my unworn t-shirt. Pollution is still a problem in China, especially large cities like Shanghai. There's carbon dioxide, sulfur dioxide and even toxic metals (wtf you can inhale cadmium), in dangerous levels. BAD

Something else that contributes to this is the endemic cultural practice of smoking. Most men on the street smoke, especially the youth (something we can also see in Asian communities in Australia, where migration has brought over cultural customs). I worry about this, because in the past Asians have normally not developed cancer; even from smoking. However, if people continue to smoke, I fear that proclivity to cancer will spread into the Asian race, much like the Anglo-Saxon/Western world.

Ironically, one positive Western Culture has brought to China is consumerism and vanity. The women largely do not smoke, because they fear smoking will cause their skin to sag, wrinkles to develop, fuck up their complexion, etc. Which means better quality eye candy :)

I got my haircut. I now have a powerful left sideburn and fringe, and a short right side. My quest for my elusive style continues unabated. And despite of the urgings of Chinese friends, have not dyed my hair. SUCK IT PEER PRESSURE.

BORK BORK BORK

Dean

Correspondence

2009-12-31T21:08:00.000-08:00

I am so very bored at the moment. Theoretically, this should not happen. I am current in China, land of cheap electronic goods and counterfeit goods, wonderful foods and wonderous spectacles.

So far it has not been bad; I have been reunited with many of my relatives who I haven't seen in 4 years, and introduced to relatives I have never met before. I have spent the best part of 3 weeks here (I've lost count to be honest). Sightseeing has also been an activity, consisting mainly of me wandering on the streets of Shanghai, looking at how things have changed.

The food is quite awesome. The restaurants are inexpensive and serve some very good food. We've eaten out probably twice or three times a week since we've been here. GOOD FOOD. But the best food I think are the small stalls that sell snacks; the chicken/duck skewers are awesome, as are the drinks (it's freezing in Shanghai atm), I had this awesome hot tea that was really sweet and tasted like butter menthols :) As of yet, I haven't seen any grasshoppers or rats or cockroaches. Yet.

I haven't really been shopping much. The old place where I used to get fake shit from is closed down (used to be a massive market). Now I have to rely on these weird people that pull you on the street offering to sell you shit. However, they often ask you to follow them to a nondescript location.....so I really haven't bought anything. I like my organs where they are thank you very much.

Having said that, I do have a set of speakers. Finally I can compete with my stupid neighbour who has her TV on full blast at all hours of the day and night.

There is nothing at the moment. My net access has been extremely restricted and Facebook is banned in China. No good. I am at a relative's house atm (surprise surprise!) for New Year celebration et al. So I am sat at a computer with the smell of stale cigarettes and cheap beer flooding my sense of smell (which has noticably worsened).

This post is long enough.

Adios

Dean

Edit: I realised this is my 100th post. Yay (:

Most Miserable

2009-12-13T14:57:00.000-08:00

ENTER results are out. I've gotten more than enough to comfortably get into Commerce/Law at Monash. But I'm not satisfied. It was higher than I thought I would get, but not as high as I'd hope I'd get.

I really wanted to get into UNSW or Sydney Uni. But I guess only the best can go there, and I am not one of the best unfortunately.

Looks like I'm stuck doing Commerce/Law at Monash. Sydney/UNSW, maybe one day I'll transfer over to you. Maybe one day.

It's not easy letting go of ambition. But I'll try.

Typically, my parents are not happy. But they never are.

And I guess, neither am I. My standards are too unrealistic. But those standards give me drive. They won't let me settle for mediocre.

I want to do something worthwhile, be remembered for doing something worthwhile.

We shall see what happens.

Dean

Fraudulent Beans

2009-12-05T01:11:00.000-08:00

"Kick back, relax, and get yourself a little smoky smoke"

It would seem that relaxation is the current focus of most students who have finished Year 12. I don't know why, but I feel a certain degree of concern.

Perhaps it's December 14th approaching. Perhaps your future being decided.

Or perhaps it's just a random bout of panic.

I do not believe in stress. Stress is a false medical condition created by those who are unable to cope with their circumstances. I too, have faltered under the pressure of expectation and hope.

In retrospect, stress is a highly damaging and unnecessary state of mind. I have realised there is little point to being "stressed". A far more productive and healthy pursuit is to simply do what you must.

Blah, random rant.

Jobs are hard to find. I'm walking in store and nobody seems to have part-time vacancies. I'm not sinking down to fast food employment though. Never again. FIND FIND FIND.

Today I went Chadstone, to finally check out the new additions; i.e. high end stores that I will never afford anything from. It's kinda weird how each of those stores has a security guard at the entrance; the height of pretension really. Just to make the everyday person feel even more insecure and insignificant. But oh well, I'm sure all the people inside simply look, and don't buy :)

I finally got a cool belt. It's leather and white and very cool. Excellent.

And there need to be better changing facilities. I was buying a shirt in Oxford today and there are only these curtain things that block you from others. I swear there was someone staring into my cubicle thingy while i was changing >_>

And on the topic of staring; whilst I was browsing in numerous stores, all these shop assistants keep staring at me...perhaps they can smell my lack of social prowess, or sense my dorky-stays-at-home-kid aura. I had showered before going to chadstone, and I was wearing reasonably fashionable clothing. How odd. And I wasn't the only one in the shops. *self-conscious*

Spurn my curious musings; I will now go......I don't know. There really isn't much to do at the moment.

Dean

Out of Cape Cod Tonight.

2009-11-24T18:05:00.000-08:00

School has finished. And everything is super laid back.

It's strange how boring everything is now I've finished VCE. I seem to lack some defining purpose I used to have during VCE.

There's no stress or worry or panic or depression. Which strangely makes me miss it. Ironic really; most people suffer health problems or even die from stress and the like, and we're always trying to "relax" or get away from it all.

Yet something wills us to find a purpose, something to strive for; something that will intrinsically provide stress and thus motivation.

Call it pride, ambition, drive whatever. It's there. You want to achieve something. That is what religion about, and I think I can understand why people might pursue religion. To find greater meaning, above our day to day lives.

Incidentally, I am listening to Coldplay, Vampire Weekend and John Mayer.

YES!

I've been to 3 parties in the last week. I've drank alcohol at all three, getting progressively drunker at each party. And strangely my mum no longer cares. I think she realises how bad VCE must have been for me; I was silent at home, for most of the year. I didn't really smile or anything. Which is really cool, and I appreciate that.

I've been reading the Harry Potter books, something I never got a chance to do during Year 7 & 8. I'm really enjoying them, but I think what is most enjoyable is that I'm making up for lost time :)

I need a job.

Dean

Errata

2009-11-08T20:41:00.000-08:00

Good day fellows.

Back on the blog, after methods.

Exam wasn't too bad. Overall I'm realistically hoping I got something like 110/120, which should be a 43, hopefully ;D

Accounting tomorrow. I am shitting my pants. Not confident at all.

Physics, bleh, who cares.

Chemistry, hopefully I should be ok.

Relax for a week, then Chinese is finished.

Then VCE is dead forever.

:)

Smile.

2009-10-31T16:21:00.000-07:00

It is hard to keep working when there's nothing left to work for.

It's hard to smile when you're feeling down.

It's hard going alone.

It's hard when no one has faith in you any more, least of all, yourself.

It's hard trying, then getting nowhere.

VTAC change of preferences open November 30.

Dean

Let's start over again.

2009-10-29T22:31:00.000-07:00

VCE.

The Victorian Certificate of Education or VCE is the credential awarded to secondary school students who successfully complete high school level studies (Year 11 and 12 or equivalent) in the state of Victoria, Australia.

The Equivalent National Tertiary Entrance Rank (ENTER) is the national Australian tertiary entrance rank, administered by Universities Australia (previously called the Australian Vice-Chancellors' Committee). It is a percentile ranking, designed to make it easy to compare entrance levels for students educated in different process of admission for university applicants from interstate.

A student's overall ENTER is calculated as the total of:

The ENTER subject score in an English subject (one of English, English Language, Literature or English as a Second Language)(any one of these subjects is compulsory for the VCE))
The ENTER subject scores of the next three best subjects (the English study and these constitute the Primary Four)
Plus an increment of 10% of the next best two subjects (if available)

I thought English would be one of my best subjects. I thought my SAC's were indicative of how I would go in the exam.

Yet here I sit, looking down the barrel of a 30 in English. I have a very good idea of how my essays were. Two 6's, and a 5.

My ENTER, at the most optimistic possible view, is now insufficient to get into my first 4 university preferences (interstate and in Melbourne).

What am I supposed to do now?

I'll get in, do some course I don't even want to.

Get out, work some shitty job I hate and have no interest in.

I'd rather hang myself.

OH SHIT IT IS TIME

2009-10-12T04:30:00.000-07:00

ORAL NEXT WEEK.

GRADUATION NEXT WEEK.

EXAMS IN TWO WEEKS.

OH SHIT.

Excesses of a decadent past

2009-09-30T01:36:00.000-07:00

Hiya everyone.

I feel quite good at the moment. Very refreshed. I don't know why.

This week's been crazy busy as usual, with practice exams everyday.

Monday: Chinese Exam, not too bad, but some obscure "morality" questions in the reading comprehension.

Tuesday: English and Chemistry. Chemistry was ok; there were some areas I didn't know about but at least I know where I need to improve. English was a mixed bag. I wrote the best analysis essay I've ever written on In The Lake of the Woods; however it's more of a post-structuralist analysis essay than that about "fact or fiction". Still, I thought my expression was really good and my analysis was fairly "insightful".

Language Analysis was crap; I realised I didn't identify the correct contention about 40% of the way through my essay. So I changed it and ended up rushing the remainder of the essay to finish in time. Context was the worst; very bland expression, not too insightful exploration of the topic. Oh well, "it's just a practice exam".

Today I had physics and Chinese oral.

I was totally cacking myself for the Chinese Oral; I'd only memorised 60% of my detailed study, and hadn't even touched my general conversation. However after I got in, it was ok. Very positive feedback about my general conversation (winged), and some good pointers on how to improve my detailed study answer quality. Physics was surprisingly ok; I could actually answer most questions through rearranging equations et al, but my sound knowledge is terrible. Oh well, nothing a cheat sheet can't fix. The problem is that the end of year exam will be about 10x harder.

Friday is Methods exam, which is a SAC. Oh Shit.

Oh well, I feel like chilling out at the moment. Don't feel like doing any work. Take it easy.

To everyone concerned about the UMAT: It's ok if you didn't do as well as you hoped. It's not the end of the world; there are other paths into the health sciences. Don't stress out.

I played the piano yesterday. FOR ENJOYMENT. WEIRD HUH?

Nocturne in E flat major by Chopin. Very simple. But sounds so nice.

That's what's good about piano; you don't have to play at a high level to enjoy yourself.

That's one of the biggest things that got me into piano.

Oh well. Once Year 12 is over, I can play as much piano, soccer, badminton, table tennis, skate,~~Smoke as much weed~~ as I want. Maybe even learn guitar.

Forward march!

Dean

Hello Sunshine

2009-09-24T22:31:00.000-07:00

And here I am again, on the blog because I have reached maximum study capacity.

Holidays are typically dreary and filled with work.

Everyday is seriously just a blur; I don't recall what day it is, or what I did yesterday, simply because I spend all my day sitting in a chair writing or memorising something.

I can feel myself getting less and less fit.

My brain feels dizzy, almost every minute of every day.

Chinese is getting better. I'm starting to memorise my Detailed Study (at last).

I've found songs that can cheer me up whilst also motivating me to study :)

I've been listening to Muse - The Resistance lately.

Quite good, but to be honest it sounds kind of similar to Queen and some of the more obscure works by Muse, and the indie scene.

Good album. Go listen to it :)

I am waiting on Year 12 to finish. I think that thought gives me hope.

I am expecting the 3 months after Year 12 to be awesome.

I think they will be :)

Dean

We all have to suffer some time

2009-09-22T04:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, someone told me something that prompted my thought.

"Inherent talent is nothing. You have to work hard to achieve anything. Don't worry if things do go to plan, opportunity will come".

Being a bitter, cynical person, I took this with a large pinch of salt.

Inherent talent is why people are the best at anything. Usain Bolt is a natural runner. It is why Mozart and Beethoven and Bach and Rachmaninov and Dvorak and Chopin were able to create music like they did. Tennyson and Poe and Yeats and T.S. Elliot wrote like they did because they were gifted.

Opportunity only comes if you have the requisite resources. People with money and influence have more opportunity than others.

Upon deeper thinking, I realised that these are just excuses. People like me, without the blessing of genes or natural advantage get jealous of people who are naturally excellent at a particular field. But people that have natural ability have to work hard too. Otherwise they'd just be slightly better than average.

People create excuses to make themselves feel better about themselves. We are lazy and blame nature for our shortcomings instead of working harder.

Self-reflection is a powerful thing.

I've been so unhappy lately. I can't motivate myself to do 10 hours of study a day anymore. I barely do 6, almost less than I would do at school.

Frail confidences in Methods. Gone. There are actually some questions I can't do. And they are so simple when you look at the answers.

Chemistry is tedious. Those careless mistakes fritter away your future.

Chinese is impossible. I can't physically spend that long memorising all that information. And I don't even retain it.

I wish I had a memory that worked.

And I think my limited social skills are degrading even further. I can't talk to people anymore. I get nervous when I have to talk to anyone.

These holidays have made me more stressed, less socially active, more tired, more unhappy.

My thoughts are incoherent, my expression is poor.

Sometimes that noose looks awfully appealing.

What keeps me going?

I want to enjoy life. But life in the future is going to be no fun.

I want to make lots of friends. But my personality means I am going to be all alone for the rest of my life.

All I can do, is just kick, push, coast.

Mah Steez.

2009-09-18T04:23:00.000-07:00

I'm extremely bored. I'm over studying.

Things done:
Methods Paper 1 + 2, NEAP
Chemistry Lisachem Paper
Physics STAV Paper
English Context Essay
Chinese General Conversation Practice

Somehow that has taken me 8 hours. And it feels like I've gotten nowhere.

Yes, I'm slow D:

I've realised that I'm incapable of 10 hours of study day in day out. So I procrastinate and sleep.

I'm capped as well. Goddamn it.

There are 3 18th birthdays I want to go to. But I'm not allowed out. I want to get drunk and be stupid, just for a while.

I like sushi :)

What Holiday?

2009-09-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

Back again.

Procrastinating because I don't want to do more work.

I realised I am mentally and physically incapable of working for 10-12 hours in a day.

I pulled 10 yesterday and don't want to do that again.

But I've got 19 days left.

These holidays suck.

I'm not allowed out either.

I want school to start again.

So they can plan their next tax-deductable donation.

2009-09-11T02:59:00.000-07:00

Something I observed today:

Walking the pavement, I noticed 3 different girls walking together who looked exactly the same. Peroxide blond hair. Black high heels. Black clothing. I thought I was tripping out, or hallucinating.

But no. Slight differences in people who try to look the same. Why? Because it's appealing.

The question is, appealing to who? If everything looks the same, then what differentiates you from any one else? Personality.

So we're left with a dilemma. In the interest of attracting someone who is interested in your personality only, then logically the best outcome is to dress like everyone else. Genes can now be fixed with chemicals and plastic surgery.

But you'd rather be an individual right? Stick out from the crowd. You allow yourself to be judged for your differences. And you will inevitably be criticised. And judged for your looks, not your personality. But that's OK if you look good. Or are shallow. Or don't have a personality worth judging.

Another paradox of fashion vs beauty.

Another of society's hypocritical political-correct bullshit. Another blanket to blind ourselves of our shortcomings. Because we only blind ourselves because we fear to dream what we can become. Society doesn't like upheaval. It's built on the same-old stability. Tenets of manners, age old dinosaurs. Doomed to a slow decline into retrospect and incoherence.

Order is control. Our laws prevent the questioning of the establishment. But if we cannot question the establishment, we can never exceed the limits to which we are restricted.

Humans are intrinsically beings driven by greed. Ambition and dreams are nothing but a lovely disguise to hide what disgusting beings we are. We are only interested in greed. Improving ourselves. Improving our circumstances. To quote Nietzsche, "A living being seeks above all else to discharge all it's strength". Life is just will to power.

Yes, I read Nietzsche. Sometimes.

Fashion is another little coping mechanism to hide our own insecurities. We're afraid of failure more than anything else. Because no one likes to admit their own shortcomings. We've been babied by the system. "Be all you can be", "racial equality", "shoot for the stars". All a myth. Society encourages our plebeian minds to shoot for the stars. But it's a doomed pursuit. We're only encouraged to excel to the point of control. And most of our ambitions are funneled into perpetuating society.

"To make the world a better place". To follow society and strengthen it.

"To help people". Society defines morality. Morality defines what we call "help". I call euthanasia helping people escape their crippled bodies and minds. Agony. Pain. Misery. But it's not socially acceptable. So it's not "helping".

These are great ambitions. Really. Wanting to help people's existences and even out the barriers of our socioeconomic/genetic heritage is a noble cause. I'm not condescending of it at all. I just don't like the fact that all it does is subtly exert control over people, and the inherent injustices and preconceptions held in society.

Of course society has it's benefits. It stops us from murdering people because we don't like the way their hair sits on their head.

I laugh sometimes. Our own little ant farm. Built on the blood and sweat of our "benefactors". Trapped by the very thing we rely on to set us free. Ambition.

To quote Yeats:

In each human heart terror survives; The raven it has gorged: the loftiest fear; All that they would disdain to think were true:; Hypocrisy and custom make their minds; The fanes of many a worship, now outworn.; They dare not devise good for man's estate,; And yet they know not that they do not dare.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that society is hypocritical, holding double standards because of people. Society aims to become a utopia, where people can exist in harmony and equal standing. And I admire that. But humans are too self-absorbed to help themselves. We are the most powerful of living beings. But also the most arrogant, selfish and corrupt.

Which is a fair price to pay for some measure of intelligence I guess.

In case you're wondering:

About me:
I'm a nihilist and an anarchist. I believe in some elements of Eugenics.

Yes, this post was honestly motivated out of a random observation I made. Clearly I overanalyse.

I'm afraid of things that aren't there.

I like to skate.

I listened to punk rock whilst typing this out. ¡Viva la Gloria! by Green Day as of this moment to be exact.

I like political science.

I'm equally shallow as the people depicted in this post.

My personality, political and moral views, if not morally repugnant, are repulsive. By fair society's standards.

If you're still reading this, then you are interested in philosophy, psychology and politics. Let's meet for coffee :)

Next rant post:

Hatred: The Great Equaliser

Dean

Continue.

2009-09-04T06:34:00.000-07:00

Greetings.
There are a lot of things wrong with me at the moment:
I'm very angry at the moment.
Year 12 is almost over. There is only about a month of formal schooling left. Wow.
I'm pretty arrogant. I'm quite vain.
I thought I'd be super happy that Year 12 is ending. But to be honest I'm a little afraid.
I'm always tired. I feel violent. I feel like smoking weed.
In all honesty, I think that VCE is a little unfair. I don't believe that it is a fair way to decide what career options and essentially what path in life you take. How can one day, one exam represent your aptitude for, your commitment, your hard work for a subject? I don't see how one day is supposed to determine your future.
The voices in my head are getting worse.
I say this, because I am afraid. I'm not especially intelligent, and I tend to choke in exams.
The ringing in my ears never stop. I can't stop it.
Another element of my fear is that of the unknown.
Feels like what I'm turning into. The enemy.
I don't know where I'll be going (if I make it in at all) for University. I don't know if I'll be in Sydney or Melbourne. I don't even know where I'll be living next year.
I'm going crazy. I want to drown myself in shallow materialism.
I am moving out. I am a little afraid. I am apprehensive. But I feel some degree of excitement.
Ignorance is bliss.
We'll see.

Cool.

I've been listening to a lot of Coldplay recently. I quite like it. It makes me sad, yet hopeful, all very confusing to a being ruled by testosterone and impulses.

My blazer is complete! :)

Don't freak out just yet. I'm a little insane, but not that insane ;)

Dean

Lost!

2009-09-02T05:56:00.000-07:00

Just because I'm hurting, doesn't mean I'm hurt.

The Nature of the Soul

2009-08-29T05:43:00.000-07:00

One day, I went for a walk.

I walked to the very edge of the Earth.

I sat down.

I looked at the ocean.

It roared and swelled, but said nothing.

I asked the ocean "What am I?"

It frothed and rose, but said nothing.

I asked the ocean "Why is my life the way it is?"

The ocean bubbled and crashed down, but said nothing.

I asked the ocean "How am I supposed to live?"

The ocean sprayed and swayed, but said nothing.

2009-08-21T00:28:00.000-07:00

Hmm.

Today I had the Chinese Detailed Study SAC.

It was terrible. Despite spending the greater part of this week studying for it (and in the process neglecting all my other homework), I still flunked it. I did not have enough information to answer all of our teacher's questions. One positive though; nerves have never really been an issue for me, and I was confident enough to say whatever the hell came to my mind.

Thursday was Athletics day. Being a moderately fast runner, I was put in a 200m event (replaced) and 2 relays. Relays were pretty good. Curiously though my ribs hurt, not my legs.

Wednesday was our English SAC. I must ace it to have a chance of nabbing the English prize :)

Monday was Physics SAC. I did slightly better than (admittedly high) average :)
Which is quite unusual. Usually I'm the lowest in our class XD

Got Chem SAC back. Did pretty badly :(

Conclusion: Hard SAC's are easier to do better in.

I like Onitsuka Tiger :)

Immortality is death.

2009-08-14T03:56:00.000-07:00

Today I was listening to songs on my Touch, and Forever Young by Youth Group came on. This got me thinking....if God/Allah/Jehovah/Buddha/Deity(ies) of choice offered you immortality, would you take it?

Here's my two cents:

By immortality, I'm assuming that you don't age and remain at a constant level of health and fitness, at the peak of your physical and mental ability. Also, I'm assuming the world can sustainably continue

Immortality/Eternal youth and health at first would seem pretty awesome. You'd always be able do whatever you wanted, physically, and never be limited to certain activities. If you lacked skill at something, you have time to improve it. Hell, whatever ambitions you have, you can achieve them if you want. You'd see how the world progresses, and have the incredible power of retrospect. You'd have incredible experience; not only depth of experience but also breadth of experience. I guess this sort of thing appeals to me; change and evolution. You could become the most intelligent, skilled person on Earth, be whatever you wanted to be.

Upon deeper consideration, I realised that there are a lot of negative points about immortality/eternal youth and health. Knowing that you have all the time in the world to do anything, you'd lack motivation and procrastinate, and risk becoming lazy, and squandering your ability. Why would you procrastinate? Because humans are inherently lazy, always finding easier, more efficient ways of doing things; that's why machines were invented. But the second, more frightening prospect, is you are too busy enjoying yourself in whatever activity you are pursuing that takes your fancy at a particular point in time.

On proof-reading, the previous argument is a little weak. People often find motivation to do things, because they are insecure, scarred by their pasts, pressured by their family/friends/whatever. But keep reading :)

How could enjoying yourself be a bad thing? Hedonism is ultimately a destructive and fruitless pursuit; you will do something because you enjoy it to the point where it no longer becomes desirable. You get bored easily. You move onto more extreme, powerful sensations, until your senses are dulled to the point where no activity, no matter how originally stimulating, is enough to satisfy your senses. Suddenly life loses colour, it loses it's desirability, and it becomes a tedious prison.

This sensory overload is related to my next point. A wealth of experience is not necessarily a good thing either. You learn so much of the world that nothing surprises you anymore. With everything you overhear, read, see, smell and touch already experienced, life becomes routine. It loses it's appeal because you no longer have any excitement or desire or pain or misery. What is there to do but relive every moment? You get used to the good and the bad times. Memories lose their attached emotions. You feel no joy, no sorrow. You feel....hollow. The fulfilment that you once felt has gone.

This might depend on personality, but I think that you'd become bitter, cynical and saddened by humankind. Man is capable of horrific acts of cruelty and selfishness. You'd see all that man is capable of. But you'd also see kindness, and be surprised by incredible generosity and selflessness. You'd attempt to understand human morals and values, the human psyche, and how society affects people. You'd be confused at the duality of humans. Ironically, this is because you are no longer human. You have all the experience in the world. You are perfect. You are incapable of making mistakes, because of all of your experience. You are no longer a human. How can you expect to understand humans when you do not suffer from the pathetic electrical impulses humans call emotions? You are overburdened with your experience. To the point where experience becomes foresight. The past becomes the future. The lines begin to blur.

I don't think I could live without love or happiness. I don't think I could live without sadness or disappointment, because it is these feelings of negativity that reinforce how good the good times are.

Ironically, I think that immortality does not exist. You only have so long to do all that you want to do, be all that you can/want to be, feel all that you want to feel before you lose the emotions that make you human. At this point, you are an automaton. You are a robot. Without purpose.

You are in effect, dead.

Immortality? You must be joking.

Dean

I did my best to notice.

2009-08-11T02:46:00.000-07:00

Homework is stacking up.

Time is fleeting.

Life is busy.

Exams are coming.

iPod Touch is jailbreaking.

My blood is boiling.

Life is work.

Chinese takes effort.

Coherence is at a premium.

Hung Out to Dry.

2009-08-08T20:46:00.000-07:00

Howdy.

I am now 18. Yay. Plus I had a haircut. Equally exciting :)

The celebrations were quite fun. Velvet Fridays at Seven is quite fun, but tiring. After fun at Seven, went back to friend's house, had cake, but then we hit the Smirnoff a little too hard. Slept over at friend's house.

Woke up early Saturday morning to go house hunting, watch an auction. Had a massive hangover and splitting headache. Went back to sleep at home after outing. Woke up at around 4pm. Still hung over. Showered, as I hadn't changed yet.

Didn't do any homework on Saturday. Large portions of the day were spent recovering. Drinking too much alcohol is bad for your health and organisation/time-management. Bad.

I think it shows in this disjointed, grammatically incorrect piece of prose.

I can't be bothered uploading 200+ photos on Facebook. Sorry. No images of the shenanigans. But thank you everyone that hit my page up with a wall post. Much appreciated (L)

I'm still tired, but I have a shitload of homework to catch up on. Year 12 is no fun :(

I'll post again when I'm in better shape.

Dean

GET SOME!

2009-08-06T06:09:00.000-07:00

Hi guys.

Tonight I showed some self-restraint :)
Originally I was invited to go Unlucky Thursday at Seven. I was in until this afternoon, when I realised that I shouldn't really be staying out until 5 on school nights. Plus there is the small matter of a physics SAC (which really isn't important though).

The main issue is that I would be absolutely stuffed getting up tomorrow. I am proud of myself :)

So this blogpost is just a shameless boast to be honest :)

Oh yeah, I'm going Seven tomorrow for Velvet/Azn Friday. I has ID and guest-list, wanna come?

YAY i'm so hardcore

Dean

Indeed.

2009-08-01T23:38:00.000-07:00

Hello.

I am dreading school tomorrow. Chem test. Unit 3 results. English SAC. No fun at all. It's going to be terrible.

I'm not expecting anything flash for my midyear results. I have nothing to hope for really. I studied as much as possible, and not going to get the results I want. Such is my inferior genetics and luck in life.

I finally took a day off school (Friday) last week. I should have taken most of the week off because of my god-awful flu. But because of various (stupid) extra-curricular commitments, I wasn't able to.

House Music past. I fucked up the piano part on stage. I'm really past the point of caring. I know people are going to blame me, but hey, what else is new.

2 Physics SAC's next week. Never good.

I need white lithium grease in a small tub.

I didn't go to Monash Open day today (though I wanted to) because of this flu. I'm still not feeling 100% and am desperately trying to recover as quickly as possible so I can get back to study mode.

Uni Accounting started last week. It's still boring as shit.

Started playing Far Cry 2 again in an attempt to relax. It's quite difficult, and gets very frustrating at times and probably aggravates me more than relaxes me. Oh well, it's fun at times.

Goal Time!
44 in English.
38 RAW in all other subjects
= 98.85

Won't be easy, but I have to try.

GO GO GO!

Dean

Now is the winter of my discontent, made galling by this spawn of hell

2009-07-29T03:50:00.000-07:00

This song is old, but fantastic. Even if it makes me a little more depressed about my circumstances.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxpblnsJEWM&feature=related

Inspirational.

2009-07-25T06:14:00.000-07:00

Things to do before I die:

See Muse live.

To unexplain the unforgivable.

2009-07-24T05:46:00.000-07:00

I'd like to offer this morsel of thought.

"Sometimes I am a bit ashamed of myself when I think how few friends I have amidst a host of acquaintances. plenty of people offer me their friendship; but partly because I am reserved and shy, and partly because I am fastidious and have a narrow, uncatholic taste in friends, I reject the offer in almost every case; and then am dismayed to look about and see how few persons in the world stand near me and know me as I am".

Woodrow Wilson, The American Political Tradition.

One step further down the dark, lonely winding path.

Dean

All your dreams are made, when you're chained to the mirror of your razor blade

2009-07-22T04:46:00.000-07:00

Today was English SAC day. I felt average after doing it; but I guess impressions never mean anything with English. I've felt exceptional after doing an essay and gotten a D+ for it, and I guess the opposite is true.

I spent 3 and half hours stressing and planning my essay last night (interspersed with Facebook of course), and I probably only followed 50% of my plan. I don't follow plans too well; I begin to question the validity of my arguments and as such just let the context FLOW.

Apparently the Heads of each Department met a few days ago and decided the Year 12 cohort of 2009 is not doing enough work, and we are to "pull our fingers out". I've actually noticed a discernable increase in the amount of work I've received over the past few days, and I really can't be bothered doing any of it to be honest.

Chinese is shit. I've been constantly working at it and I'm seemingly nowhere. Gay.

Nothing of interest to post here really.

Dean

The Diagetic Dichotomy of Hippos.

2009-07-17T04:59:00.000-07:00

Hello.

First week back to school; not too bad. Only had a chem SAC this week, which was OK. Hopefully I don't flunk it. I haven't been addicted to Facebook like some people thought I would; have focused on studies quite well I'd say :)

I'm still adjusting to getting up at 6:50 every morning; I wake up super sleepy and I'm usually quite stoned when going to house music. But I guess I gradually wake up during the course of the day (I usually feel like I'm woken up by around recess LOL).

Speaking of which, House music actually isn't too bad. Our part song is actually sounding half-decent now, because Mr. Henley came in and taught the house what to sing. Derham also seems to be more enthusiastic about singing, which is encouraging. What isn't so encouraging is our unison song, which is still a bland monotone, and is sung with less than impressive enthusiasm, and incorrect rhythm. Oh well, we're trying our best :)

Soccer training isn't fun anymore. I've (literally) forgotten how to accurately kick a ball over a long distance, my touch is sh!t, I'm slow and unfit as hell. Probably because I never go to matches because I'm a lazy sh!t.

I'm desperately in need of a haircut, but I'd like to try some new places out. Any suggestions, readers?

I have no idea what to put on my rugby jumper either. Any further suggestions?

I've forgotten how to write context essays. Bloody English SAC is next week. I'm so boned.

Year 12 is nearly over. Yay.

Dean

'Cause the proof is in the Kodak

2009-07-13T04:33:00.000-07:00

Good day to all.

"Today was a good day, hope I have me a great night."

Grammatically incorrect, but conveys my feelings at the moment. A lyric from "My President is Black" by Young Jeezy Feat. Nas. A good song, paradoxically filled with both bitterness, hurt and hope. A little like my life =D

Anyway, tomorrow is the first day of the last semester of school. And I suppose, the beginning of a new chapter in life. Unit 4 starts (properly), and I can forget Unit 3 (to an extent). I am happy, and hopeful of getting the grades and results I want for my preferred University course.

I'll look upon that paragraph in later years, and laugh in cynical bitterness at my naivety.

Anyways, I am quite cheerful. Wonder how long that will last.

Soccer training tomorrow. Late finish.

House Music Wednesday. Early start.

No Uni Accounting on Wednesday. Early Finish.

House Music Friday. Early start.

I see that cheer rapidly deteriorating.

Random Bits and Bobs.

Hair Status:
A strand of my fringe fell out just then. It measures 13 centimeters long.
I have a really bad mullet right now. It's quite disgusting.

Clothes Status:
I really need t-shirts. And casual shirts. And dark blue jeans.

Tummy Status:
I am very full. Fatty :)

Longboard Status:
I've upgraded it's status to "graduation present". So price shouldn't be an issue now :)

Some randoms on MSN have started a petition for me to dye my hair. Not happening.
(Yes I do go on MSN sometimes)

Fitness Status:
I have started weight training via pov home gym. Hopefully I can stop looking like a stick.

Music Status:
I practiced house music piece 4 times these holidays and it's sounding pretty good. Yay.

Random Observations:
I went to buy spare batteries for my calc. Saw this guy with jeans that were WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too tight. It was disgusting. He was also trying to to some random breakdancing move where he clings onto a stop sign and position his body like a flag.

I passed some people 10m down the street, who also commented on this fashion faux pas. I found that funny :)

Oh and the title is from 3Oh!3's Punkbitch. OMG such a good song.

Dean

Oh Noes.

2009-07-10T02:05:00.000-07:00

This morning I slept in, until 10:30. First time I've woken up this week not tired.

I've probably had some pretty poor quality sleep since I've been sore this entire week.

University Accounting results came out today. I got a H2B. Which is 70-74%.

I'm pretty happy with this, considering I've not paid enough attention to the subject, and studied for 4 hours over the entire semester. Winner.

I have this disgusting ulcer under my tongue. I can't swallow or talk without extreme pain. FUCK.

Lots of Chinese to do.

Best way to start the new term.

Dean

Unmanly.

2009-07-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

My fingers are frigid at the moment; I can barely type.

Anyways, I realised that I am quite unmanly. When I went to the city on Tuesday, I realised I like going into shops and looking at random clothes. And I think I'm starting to enjoy shopping for clothes (because I don't actually have any clothes and rarely go shopping). So yes. Poke fun :)

I am also quite skinny and weak, which is very unbecoming of a man :(

Piano part for Father and Son is actually going well now. 3 x 10 minute practice sessions and I can now play the damn thing fluently and with almost no mistakes. I am win.

All my homework is finished (well, since last week to be honest), except for Chinese. I have to do 3 essays, my detailed study and my general conversation in 5 days. Awesome. I am so boned.

I like sushi.

I've been on Facebook an awful lot recently, despite the fact that I achieve very little when I go on. OH well, when school comes, I'll actually have no time for Facebook, so no addiction can develop buahahaha.

Oh yeah, for some random reason I pulled out these dumbells I got as a present from my dad (who also think I'm too skinny) last week and did some exercises. Now I can't even extend my arms straight, or hold them out.

Stupid weakness and DOMS.

Random Musings:

OH SHIT UNI ACCOUNTING RESULT COMES OUT ON FRIDAY ZOMG SHITBRIX

Anyone up for Bruno on Sunday?

Can't be bothered doing Song of the Week. Maybe next time :(

Until the next time,

Dean

Life is full of paradoxes.

2009-07-06T04:57:00.001-07:00

Very tired.

Jason's party yesterday. Fun. Had human interaction with non familiar humans.

Alcohol present. Didn't punch on ~~or make a fool of myself~~. Fair effort.

Mother was angry because I had stench of alcohol on breath. Oh well.

Woke up very thirsty.

I want longboard. But no moneys.

I want to sleep, but I want to amuse myself with facebook.

Chinese is worrisome, but now I have a detailed study I can manage.

Saw some guy on the tram get fined for not having a ticket. Poor guy.

I want more T-shirts and jumper/hoodies/warm wearables. Stussy appreciated =D

Dark blue jeans also needed.

Would also like some more casual shoes. Vans appreciated =D

Power,

Dean

100 Truths

2009-07-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Hans

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage:
Water
2. last phone call:
Voicemail 3
3. last text message:
Jenn :)
4. last song you listened to:
Countdown - Jupiter One
5. last time you cried:
I don't remember

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice:
No.
7. been cheated on:
I don't know...possibly
8. kissed someone & regretted it:
Every kiss is an experience I guess
9. lost someone special:
I think so
10.been depressed:
Every damn day of Year 12
11. been drunk and threw up:
Yes I have, much to my shame

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black
13. White
14. Blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend:
Through the magic of Facebook, and Steph Larkin's random parties, yes I have
16. Fallen out of love:
No
17. Laughed until you cried:
I've laughed so hard I couldn't breathe
18. Met someone who changed you:
Not this year
19. Found out who your true friends were:
I've always known who my true friends are
20. Found out someone was talking about you:
Yes, unfortunately. I don't like them one bit either.
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend's list:
Yes I have

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life:
99%? I've met all of them except 1 guy
23. Would you mind going into a relationship now?
Already in one..
24. Do you have any pets:
Pet rock
25. Do you want to change your name:
Yes, to Dick McVengeance
26. What did you do for your last birthday:
Slept, got my Unit 3 Accounting Result
27. What time did you wake up today:
9:22
28. What were you doing at midnight last night:
Sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
Longboard please
30. Last time you saw your Mother:
today?
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:
I want to be taller. And to speak/read/write fluent awesome Chinese
32. What are you listening to right now:
The hum of my laptop's fan. So soothing
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:
Yes. I have.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now:
Fucking Chinese Detailed Study
35. Most visited webpage:
silverfishlongboarding.com
37. Nicknames:
Erm...just Dean thanks
38. Relationship Status:
In a relationship
39. Zodiac sign:
Sheep
40. Male or female?
AniMale hahaha I'm so witty
41. Elementary?
Malabar Primary School, Hartwell Primary School, Camberwell South Primary School
42. Middle School?
Camberwell Grammar School
43. High School?
Camberwell Grammar School
44. Hair color:
Black
45. Long or short:
Medium?
46. Height:
176cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?
I think she is my girlfriend
48. What do you like about yourself?
Asian, Sometimes extroverted sometimes introverted (i.e. Bipolar)
49. Piercings:
I've tried a fake one on, look like a gimp
50. Tattoos:
If I got one, it would probably be a half-sleeve. Parents would make me get rid of it via painful laser surgery.
51. Righty or lefty:
Right

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery:
Broken wrists
53. First piercing:
None
54. First best friend:
Caleb Storey
55. First sport you joined:
Athletics in Year 1-3 :)
56. First vacation:
Coming to Australia :)
57. First instrument:
Piano...worst
58. First crush:
Her name was Stephanie. She had black hair.

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating:
Garlic Bread
60. Drinking:
Water
61. I'm about to:
Go to Jason's party
62. Listening to:
Didn't i answer this 3 times already?
63. Waiting for:
Video to load on Youtube

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?
We shall see
65. Get Married?
I think so
66. Career?
Investment Banking -> Law

WHICH IS BETTER? (REFER TO YOUR PERFECT BF/GF FOR SOME):
67. Lips or eyes:
Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses:
Both are good in their own way :)
69. Shorter or taller:
I've had heated discussions with CGS boys in the cafeteria about this, but I don't actually care.
70. Older or Younger:
Doesn't matter
71. Romantic or spontaneous:
Romantic :)
72. Nice stomach or nice arms:
I prefer stomach
73. Sensitive or loud:
Both in moderation HA
74. Hook-up or relationship:
Hook-ups are vacuous and unfulfilling.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant:
I can has neither?

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger:
Don't think so
77. Drank hard liquor:
Yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts:
No
79. Sex on first date:
OBVIOUSLY
80. Broken someone's heart:
I doubt it. But I am sort of clueless.
81. Had your own heart broken:
I believe so
82. been arrested?
Pulled over by cops
83. Turned someone down:
Yes.
84. Cried when someone died:
No, not yet.
85. Fallen for a friend?
I have, and it made things incredibly awkward.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself:
No. Self-doubt keeps me grounded
87. Miracles:
Are what you make.
88. Love at first sight:
Hormones. Not love.
89. Heaven:
No. Dust and worms.
90. Santa Claus:
I AM SANTA CLAUS
91. Kiss on the first date:
Perfect way to end the first date =D
92. angels?
Role models.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf?
no.
94. just boarded the plane to North Pole?
no.....
95. Did you sing today?
Yes, I rocked out to Muse
96. Ever cheated on somebody?
No. Dog act
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go and why?
When I was born. There are so many things I would like to have done.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?
February 20th.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love with somebody else?
No. I don't think it can happen
100. Posting this as 100 truths?
Yes I am.

Back to the Future.

2009-07-03T00:35:00.000-07:00

Well the first week of the holidays is rapidly drawing to a close. This means I have to rapidly step up my homework schedule, and actually start practicing my piano part for house music. YES!

I have been doing homework up to this point, just minimal amounts of it. I have a shiteload of Chinese that needs doing. Chemistry I have a fair bit as well.

In retrospect, I guess doing Chemistry probably wasn't the wisest choice. I'm not particularly interested in doing science courses in University, nor am I going to sit the UMAT. So it's a bit of a waste. I probably should have done Economics or something; i.e. something actually pertinent to my future career.

Ah careers. It's an exciting prospect, yet a frightening one at the same time. The career I am aiming for is Investment banking. I was inspired by the dude at Careers night last term, and want to pursue a similar career. Investment banking appeals to me because it is high-risk investment management and decision-making, something inured in commerce. The pay is pretty damn decent too.

But there are some pretty significant downsides too. The hours for example, are horrendous. I think the guy at careers night said something like a 13 hour working day. SHIT. Also, the job is high risk; you get fired pretty often when things don't turn out the way you want them too. This isn't such a bad thing; change can be good. However my dad also has told me that the "lifespan" of the job is fairly bad too; most people can't find employment in this field after 40, simply because it's too stressful. But that's where a double degree comes in I guess.

A dilemma. I'm the sort of person that would work to live, not live to work. I want to enjoy things beside my work life. But as with all things, we shall see.

I've found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. But how will I work and and spend the time I want with her?

Until the next time.

Dean

Holiday Postings

2009-06-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

Greetings.

It is offically the third day of the ~~holidays~~ non-instructional study period, and I am proud to say I have actually done homework. Yes, I am that awesome =D

What I'm also pleased about is that I have (to some extent) preserved my shrivelled and pathetic social life. Saw Transformers on Sunday, Futsal on Saturday. Both highly enjoyable. Both involved social interaction. ONE UP.

Futsal was pretty fun, even though our team got dominated. I had fun and got slightly more fit. How much better can an activity get?

Transformers was pretty cool. A lot of reviewers have been giving it flack for being a dumb explosion movie, little plot line, etc. But it's a Transformers movie. Explosions and robot massacres and epic metal-limb rending is what makes it so awesome. I doubt many people go see it for the storyline; they're there for shooting, melee, violence in general and Megan Fox.

I've also practiced (once) the house music song. Being extremely untalented with regards to music (and also extremely lazy), I've decided to shunt the other song onto Albert, who must play the instrumental and the part song. Buahahah, the (only) power of Year 12 house prefect. Having not played piano in almost 2 and a half years (I think), my rhythm is shot. But I guess my sight reading is still decent/passable.

I also have Facebook now. First impressions was that it is a fairly addictive thing; lots of stalking and laughing to be done. I've also finally caught up with most of the people from CGS 09 formal, none of whom actually remember who I am. Ego crushed. But I'm already slightly bored of Facebook. I've found that there isn't much to do besides look at people's photos and play some (admittedly boring) games. Probably because I don't have that many friends. Therefore, it shouldn't impact my studies when I get back to school xD.

Random Asides:

I'm growing a bit of a mullet. I think it needs to be cut.

Phone battery is getting worse.

Need to start running.

Above and beyond.

Dean

Holiday Mode: Revert

2009-06-24T03:15:00.001-07:00

Good evening.

After a long and arduous term, school is finally drawing to a close. Holidays are almost upon us, and I'm already in holiday mode. I have quite a lot of homework to do, but I really can't be bothered at the moment. I just want to sleep.

House music is depriving me of sleep. I'm really not used to getting up at 6:45 for a 7:45 start for singing. Plus I'm rubbish at piano anyway; I've forgotten everything about rhythm, and my sightreading is shot. This is probably compounded by the early mornings. So far I've pulled through just playing the melody with the right hand so everyone can sing along in rehearsals. Passable.

Bloody hell, I want my house colours.

Because our school intends on pushing us to the very last day, methods SAC was today. As usual, the 10 multiple choice questions took me longer than the 8 short answer questions. Yes, I am retarded. Otherwise, the SAC was fairly straightforward.

Upon finishing the methods SAC, I felt liberated; I've finished all the important work for the term. Now I can just cruise into the holidays. And not do any work in class.

Things to do for Holidays:

Actually look at house music sheets to see what the piano part is.
Sleep more.
Actually do the chemistry holiday homework.
Revise for Physics.
Finish Methods book 1 exam papers.
Clock up 10 more hours of driving.
Convince parents that I'm deserving of a $400 longboard for my 18th birthday, but order it during these holidays (Australia gets killed by shipping and exchange rates)

That's about it really.

Oh point of clarification:
I want to purchase a longboard. Not a skateboard. Two very different disciplines and approaches.

Done.

Dean

Important Announcement.

2009-06-21T01:32:00.000-07:00

Good evening.

I am capped. Uncapped tomorrow.

Can't be stuffed studying for Methods SAC.

Chinese is begining to really worry me. A lot of work to catch up on.

Where are my house colours?

Chelsea, Manchester City and Real Madrid are ruining football.

That is all.

EDIT: Found this; couldn't not post it.

Dean

Walter.

2009-06-20T03:25:00.000-07:00

Buona Sera.

Well, I didn't think I'd make it this far, but at last, I'm done with all exams (for now). So I can't be stuffed doing anything else but blogging.

University Accounting exam was on last Friday; I missed out on a whole day of school. Ironic how in Year 12 you actually start to worry when you miss out on days, as opposed to say.....every other year where you celebrate not going to school. Ah well.

The accounting exam wasn't too bad, just overly long. 3 hour exam, I finished with about 10 minutes left. Unfortunately, none of my reports balanced. Oh well; the good thing at that level is that as long as you write "This should balance", you actually get a mark for it. Win. Theory at uni is very stupid; I didn't even understand what the question was asking; the information provided in the question seems largely irrelevant to what they're actually asking. So you bullshit your way through. If there's 10 lines available, fill them all up. Hopefully you get a mark or two.

Also saw some of the class of '08. Including Wei Ying Soh. I'd never talked to him before; he seemed quiet and shy, but he approached me, and when I talked to him, he was really cool. So there you go people.

PROTIP: Don't judge a book by it's cover.

For those readers considering doing Accounting as a university enhancement subject: it's not bad, but if you're doing accounting concurrently with the enhancement subject, it might confuse a bit of your theory and reporting mechanics. But if you've done the subject already, put a bit of effort in. I've been really lazy; I only do the homework that contributes to the university grades; I just don't bother with anything else. Thus, my tutor hates me, and makes it harder for me to ace it. Bleh.

PROTIP: Try in Uni-enhancement subjects.

I'm hoping for 65-75% in the exam by the way; that's all I need, really.

Oh and on the topic of "not judging a book by it's cover", a lot of people have been surprised that I used to skate/my ambition to skate in the future. Typical responses include:

/flameshield

"Woah, u dun seem like the type"
"LOL u jokin?"
"SK8R FAG LULZ jk"
"rnt u supposed to b a nerd?"
"Are you compensating for something?" <------ ^(>_<)^
"May I remind you that you turn 18 in August?"

(Yes, that's what I cop on MSN. When I'm actually on and talking to people).

Well, I don't see an issue with it. Longboarding is a little different to traditional street skateboarding; there's no pressure to do kickflips/shuvits/hardflips/whatever. You just carve it up and have fun. I don't see that there's anything wrong with being young at heart. I think it's better than looking back in the future and saying "I wish I had skated more". So have fun while you can folks.

Random Shit:

Also careers night was this week. I found a really awesome job. And the ENTER for my course just fell to 98.2. So I am happy :)

I also had KFC for the first time in 5 years on Friday. One of those hot-pocket things. With jalapeno. Pretty good.

I look strange in my formal photos. My hair looks emo D':

Haven't done one of these in a while:

Song of the Week: Unconditional by The Bravery

This song is nostalgic; it reminded me of this girl I used to have a crush on in Year 3; I was young and foolish (still am) and tried to impress her/be errand boy/whipped/he-bitch. But to no avail. Good experience though.

These guys sound like the early early Killers. So +1 respect for them already. Kinda techno-ish intro, followed by good indie saturated amplification style singing. Something you can dance to and rock out to and the same time. I like this song.

Rating: 7/10

Good fare. Like this a lot.

I guess until the next time I can be bothered to post;
Adios.

Dean

Don't Fear.

2009-06-16T22:20:00.000-07:00

Hola.

I've been in a pretty bad way recently. The Unit 3 exams have left me feeling kind of depressed, with the imminent University midyear exam also weighing heavily on my mind. I've been neglecting my accounting studies, simply because there is so much other stuff to do.

Also, Chinese is a worry; I've done most of my general conversation, but I've barely touched my detailed study. It's a realy big worry.

So everything is slipping away really quickly. Everything passes you by in Year 12.

Another cause of concern to me, is that I seem to have become very....stupid recently. I'm unable to solve problems as easily as I used to, and my logic is very poor at the moment. I struggle with simple concepts, and I don't know why. I don't know if I can return to my former mental state, or intelligence level.

House music has started up again; 7:50 starts to school once again. I was surprised I was still able to play the piano having not touched it in more than a year.

I'm probably panicking, but it feels like the world is closing in.

Life after Year 12 will be strange; a lot less study, but a lot more busy.

Can't wait.

Dean

What the hell.....

2009-06-16T03:54:00.000-07:00

Close your eyes and listen to the audio. Do you think it sounds like a porno?

NARWHALS ZOMG

2009-06-12T05:16:00.000-07:00

You can always count on skaters to make you laugh.

Be it their anarchistic habits, ridiculous humour, or stupid behaviour, it's always funny, and has always made me laugh.

Found this on SF tonight:

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/7835/ignboardsofficiallookinkj4.png

FUNNIEST ONES EVER (Read the whole picture)

I feel better now =D

Dean

Little Sister.

2009-06-10T00:08:00.000-07:00

Hello.

Shitty days just all come at once, don't they?

Midyear exams and they were just as bad as I thought they would be.

Physics was deceptively easy, but whenever something is deceptively easy, I always do horribly compared to everyone else. General rule of thumb. I'm already despondant about physics. I did exceptionally bad in one of the motion SAC's, and has probably ruled me out from getting above 40.

Chemistry was an absolute disaster. Stupid exam was long as hell and I know I've lost a stack of marks. I know I've already lost 4 out of 73 on offer, and I'm sure I've lost around 7 in multiple choice, and at least another 5 in short answer. That means I've probably lost about 15-20 marks in total. That is around 75%.

Goodbye 40.

Which means two of my subjects are already below 40 (more likely, 38). English and methods are probably going to be my higher subjects. I'm aiming for about mid 40's.

But then again, I know that I am not intelligent. I know that I won't get mid 40's.

I'm probably sounding a bit convoluted and frazzled. That's probably a result of seeing my future evaporate in front of me. Let me break it down.

Goal 1: Double degree, Monash.
Problem: Won't get 99.3 required for double degree.
Problem 2: Full fee is EXPENSIVE as hell. Probably can' t afford it.

Goal 2: Move interstate if I can't get into Monash double degree.
Problem: Parents have already stated I will receive no financial assistance if I move interstate.
Problem 2: My ENTER won't be good enough anyway.

Goal 3: One degree, followed by another at Melbourne.
Problem: You need distinction grades (70%) for the first degree. Not going to happen.
Problem 2: LSAT. Aptitude Test. I have no aptitude. All I can do is recite shit out of a text book.
Problem 3: Second degree is full fee.

So, my ambitions are ruined. Where to from now? I honestly don't know.

It's ironic, bitterly disappointing, yet funny that I've turned out like this. My former arrogance and pride in myself has now evaporated, and I am now a wreck. I used to think I was smart. But I wasn't; just arrogant, and passable at school.

But know, VCE has shown me what my true potential is. Below my lofty ambitions. But like everything, this is but another experience.

One of the few people I look up to in this world told me once: "If life completely fucks your shit up, leaves you with nothing but lemons, and you can still honestly laugh about it, then you've already won."

I think I'm finally starting to understand how hard this is.

What has this taught me?
Karma, and life will kick you in the balls. Eventually.
Money controls the world.

What to do now?
Keep going. That's all I can do now. Figure out another career I'm more capable of.

What are my parents going to think/say?
I honestly don't care anymore. They're Asian; they want me to get 99.95. But I think they'll just have to accept that I am just not capable of that. Or even 99. I'm a fail Asian.

More misery follows.

Got home after exam; tried to cook noodles; I somehow burnt my index finger. Wonderful. Shows how retarded I am.

Took a shower. Hot water went out about 30 seconds into the shower. Great.

Went outside to light the gas pilot again. As I lit the pilot, the bird on the tree branch above me flew away in fright, dumping a lot of rain water on me from the leaves. Fantastic.

Turned on computer, to drown my sorrows. Computer happened to be "updating". Waited for half an hour. Then restarted. I gave up.

Shitty days come altogether.

WORST DAY.

Dean.

Sup Guise.

2009-05-26T04:34:00.000-07:00

Back on the blog again.

Yes, I am back again. I've been posting more frequently because of my English Oral; I've spent long hours in Word typing this monstrosity of an analysis up. It is interesting, but I think I'm going to have a problem fitting in all my content within 9 minutes. Hopefully I can talk for 15; that seems about enough time.

I realised that life sucks at the moment. Our school principal once said that Year 12 would be the best, but also the worst year of our lives. So far, I fail to see the highlights; hours of study and homework each night, SAC's, failures (in my case), disappointment, depression, misery and the cruelest blow of all; acknowledging that you are not intelligent enough to get the ENTER score you want, and ultimately, not get into the university course you want.

If you couldn't tell, I'm a little depressed. Compromise is a horrible thing.

The few joys remaining in my life are:
1) Soccer trainings on Tuesday afternoons. A bit of physical activity to get some endorphins.
2) Friday afternoon at home, sleeping. Escape from the world, and my weakness.
3) That's about it really.
4) Maybe looking up prospective longboard purchases.

That's all the fun in my life. It sucks.

Midyears are approaching. I'm not ready for Chemistry. I'm not ready for Physics. I'm going to flunk the exams. I am nervous. But I am calm.

This is interesting.

The Lord is my shepherd;

.......

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil.

I think this passage is from Psalms. I remember it from Van Helsing. lolwut.

A bit melancholy, a bit melodramatic, but the meaning is there. Quoting from the Bible is pretty cliche, no?

Mid years are coming. I will not fear. I will not stress. I will not fail.

I WILL ACE!

not.

Cheers,

Dean

Would that I could....

2009-05-24T01:39:00.000-07:00

ace VCE.

Hello readers.

Apologies for my intermittent blogging; I am panicking about midyear exams, and every waking moment for the past few weeks has been spent doing homework or study. Not that it has made much difference; I'm still struggling with Chemistry and Physics. I don't really know how I'll do at the mid year exams. I'm still aiming for 41 in physics and 43 in chemistry. Fingers crossed.

Life has been crazy for the past days. I've been on the computer a lot more than usual; I find that my lack-of-intelligence depression is no longer cured by sleeping; I wake up and feel bad that I haven't utilised time to study more. So I turn to my other vice, FIFA 09. That sort of cheers me up, until the man-marking defence AI completely fails on me and lets Adebayor waltz through the back line unchallenged. And the goalkeepers in this game are as good as useless. *ANGER*

Meh. I've been doing a lot of work on English lately, Richard III. Time to put my overanalysis skills to the test (or use, for once). It's weird; I like Shakespeare, because of all the awesome language and literary devices he uses, but when you have to analyse it, it becomes horrific. Especially when you type up a 242 word paragraph of analysis for 9 words, 3 of which are "blood". No Shit. I'd better get an A+ in this SAC, I swear to God.

My rapidly deteriorating physical condition is also a source of misery. My physique (non-existent) is becoming progressively bonier. How embarrassing. Once (if) I get to Uni, I'll become a gym rat.

Angry at methods SAC. Lost a very, very, very stupid mark in the SAC. RAGE.

Suffice to say, Year 12 sucks. Sucks a raging donkey hard-on.

Song of the Week (Gone past): Gettysburg by Ratatat.

Here it is, folks, the original MGMT. Very reminiscent of a dusty battlefield, of cannons and horses, of swords, of cavalry. Good times. Awesome song. Nostalgic, yet happy.

Rating: 7.5/10

Sorry for the half-assedness, but it's just a song you have to listen to by yourself to get an idea of. I don't really know how to review it.

Listen to it.

On an irrelevant aside;

http://www.originalskateboards.com/longboards/derringer-28-longboard

Compact, carvy fun.

http://stokedskateboards.com/lodeco.html

Good old Dervish.

DO WANT. Even with insanely high international freight, it's still so much cheaper than buying from Australian stores. Lame.

PROTIP: Skate while you still have time.

Until next time;

Dean

Twist.

2009-05-10T00:40:00.000-07:00

Greetings.

These past few weeks have been hectic, as usual. Time seems to fly in Year 12.

Weekly Breakdown:

Physics SAC; Experimental Investigation Report.
This wasn't too bad; I guess the time is supposedly structured so that you are meant to rush through everything and end up with quite a bit of time to proofread, think up more ideas, etc. However, I think what most Year 12 students end up doing is cruising through the actual experiment, and end up rushing the report. I tried to get through the experiment quite quickly, and ended up taking 5 minutes longer than I was supposed to, finishing (my admittedly poor) report. I hope I get a decent result.

Motion SAC next week. ARGH.

English SAC; Got it back.
Didn't fail it, which was reassuring. Considering my English teacher singled me out in class saying my Point of View task (which isn't even on the exam, wtf) was far too aggressive. When he does that, you usually end up with a D for it. But I didn't. Yay.

Chemistry SAC; Naming Organics Compounds, Reactions of Functional Groups.
Our class seems to be really behind on SACs; we've already moved on to biomolecules, and then we end up with this SAC. I don't think it was overly difficult, but that's the problem; I think nearly everyone got the same results and reponses for the prac, as well as the naming test. Therefore, losing 1 mark (or 10, which is more likely in my case) is likely to drop you from an A+ to a B or something. Shit. I hope this one's OK.

Maths SAC next week. More ARGH.

We came 2nd in Badminton for House Triangulars, under my leadership and tutelage (hahaha, it had nothing to do with me). Go Derham. But I think we came something like 7th overall. =S

Funny Snippet from School:

3 guys sitting at in maths class.
"Oh wow, what's your cologne?"
"I think it's new, it's CK"
"Wow, it smells so good"
*guy walks off*
"That smelt really good; I thought it was your hair for a moment, I know you changed shampoo"
*guy nods*

Well, I thought it was funny.

PLC Formal:
This was quite fun, and I think I enjoyed it a lot more than last year's. Probably because I knew everyone (except one person) on my table, and I saw a lot of CGS people and various other acquaintances, all of whom I'm on (fairly?) good terms with. So that took a lot of the awkward edge out of the night.

The place was pretty cool; simple, clean layout and to be honest a little smaller than I expected. Still, it was good :)

Food was pretty good, but the entree was kind of bitter; some salad. Main course was ok , chicken thigh with corn and potatoes. It all tasted pretty good, because I was STARVING by the time they served the food. I felt kind of embarrased, cleaning my plate up in probably less than 30 seconds. How undignified. But I didn't dirty my suit. One up =D

I forced myself to dance. It wasn't too bad, except for the fact that I looked like a complete retard. I had pretty much no idea what I was doing. Oh well, as long as it's fun, it's all good. Music was a lot better than last year, no sombre downers.

The joke video of formal preparation was pretty funny. CGS should steal this idea and present on our formal. But boys will be boys, and boys usually cbf.

People looked very different, and looked pretty good. Nice formal. Very enjoyable way to spend a Friday night. Pictures are probably on Facebook/Myspace/Twitter/Photobucket/Social networking site of your choice. Go stalk :)

Got Mum the Shawshank Redemption for Mother's Day. I think she liked it.

Time for Song of the Week!

Song of the Week: Day 'n' Nite by Kid Cudi.
The first time I heard part of this song I really didn't like it; I thought it was bland, kind of like mushy chicken. But after I forced myself to listen to it, it had a freaky effect on me. It was on the radio whilst I was doing my English work, and then suddenly I stopped writing, and pretty much froze up. I felt super calm, yet my mind felt really sharp or something. It felt like I was high, but at the same time, super docile. I guess it's ironic that the song is about stoners or something. A stoner song for a stoner.

I listened to it right before I went to bed, and then I couldn't remember what the song sounded like in the morning. Strange subliminal powers of sound (note the superb use of alliterative language).

I guess it's the sort of song you're supposed to listen to when you're stoned, like songs by Mingus or something. If it has this sort of effect on me when I'm normal, I'm guessing it would make for some epic sessions if I was jacked up (which I probably will never be).

PROTIP: Weed does weird shit to people. Don't touch it.

Anyway, I've found a song that calms me down and readies me for bed. It's good.

Rating: 7.5/10

As high a rating as I'm probably going to give for a Hip-Hop song, but I actually like this song. It's the equivalent of getting stoned and high at the same time, without the illegality (is that a word?) of drug possession.

Need to start saving for my longboard.

Cheers,

Dean

Switches.

2009-05-02T01:48:00.000-07:00

Hello reader base.

A lot to talk about.

Back on the blog after a few weeks of school. So far it's been alright I guess; not too much difference in terms of stress. But the teachers did warn us that this term becomes a lot busier because of mid year exams. And they did tell the truth; I've had a lot more to do each night. Mostly my fault; I've been procrastinating with my Chinese general conversation preparation, so lately I've been forced to haul ass in order to get it ready in time for correction and memorisation etc. Detailed study is going to be worse.

PROTIP: Don't procrastinate in Year 12.

Besides Chinese, everything else is pretty annoying as well. English has recently become a haven for long winded over-analysis pieces; it usually takes me around an hour to write up. Which is quite a waste of time. Shakespeare is somewhat of a paradoxical conundrum to me; I actually enjoy reading Shakespeare. Yes that's right. His use of rhyme, language and even a meter to weave all his words together is insane, let alone his ability to write up some really complex and engaging stories. So yes, Shakespeare is quite interesting to read.

But it's an absolute bitch to analyse.

There are tonnes of metaphors, symbols, historical analogies, themes to analyse, and it's really difficult and time consuming to organise and prioritise. . But I'm still somewhat confident with English. I don't think I'll do particularly crazy-well, but I don't think I'm going to flunk it either.

Not like Chemistry. Recently, I've suddenly realised that there is in fact a fuck-tonne of stuff within the Chemistry course, and I really can't remember half of it. I've been trying to read and re-read over books and notes, yet I'm struggling to recall all that information. My task isn't really helped by the vagaries of each source. I've been doing some checkpoints, which honestly, doesn't really help. I try to do some spastic hard questions, yet I fall flat on my face. The biology bit is even worse for me; I find it dry and uninteresting, and difficult to understand. Bio kids are going to breeze this.

I don't really give a shit about lipids, carbohydrates and the like. All I know is nuts, fruit and vegetables are good, meat is good in moderation. Fat is OK in very small moderation. Fast food is bad. There's my guide to healthy eating.

I'm somewhat panicking over Chemistry, and have become quite despondent. I think I'm going to flunk it (probably get a 35 for it).

Physics is shitty. Doing the experimental prac report SAC and it sucks. My experiment I think was overly easy, and there isn't much to discuss. I'm going to get a mind-map going later tonight of what I can discuss. I'm afraid I'll delve too deep into the physics-mathematical relationships between variables, and end up having them being totally incorrect and irrelevant to the prac. And there's some serious maths being involved. I'm considering dropping it, because of it's sheer annoying-ness (not a word).

PROTIP: Don't do physics. Do biology.

Another of the reasons why I've been busy this week is because of Accounting. I've been doing the assignment for Quickbooks, which hasn't been too bad; just took a while to acclimatise to the user interface. Accounting is starting to get a little busier as well.

Hmm. VCE depresses me. I hope I can last it out and (maybe) get 99.

House Music preparations have also started. Got the sheet music. I'll have to do some rearranging for the left hand on the piano. Not too bad.

House Triangulars are also next week. I'll be captaining our badminton side from the back (5th seed). Win.

Now that the tedious school business has been done with, I can write about stuff that is (hopefully) more interesting.

I got some new music lately. More hip-hop, in line with me expanding my cultural and musical understanding. The newest music is from Tech N9ne; I don't know if he's considered "dope" in the hip-hop sub-culture, but he seems to rap very quickly and pulls off some impressive rhyming. I admit I was impressed.

PLC formal is coming up on the 8th. That should be fun. At least my hair is......no, my hair is just as bad as last year. My suit is cool, and full of character.

Continuing with formals, there has been a lot of gossiping and discussion over the CGS formal. How unmanly. Who's taking who. When. Why. I really am not too interested in these discussions. Your social life is your business. I'll see your date on the night.

Soccer training has started. Started playing in the centre instead of the wing. Still getting my pace and fitness back, but I can sort of dribble nowadays.

Also, I realised I'm a bit old for skateboarding. Which is why I shall get a longboard! These are more for cruising and riding than tricks. Sounds good to me. Too bad they'll run me back around $400. I also want some more PSP games. My PSP has kinda been gathering dust in my drawer.

Now that I can be stuffed, it's time for Song of the Week!

Song: A Little Bit Cooler by The Cool Kids.

Despite it's somewhat disarming (read: gay) title, this song is actually quite badass. It's a hip-hop song, with some very sharp and aggressive delivery of lines. Rhymes are pretty good as far as I can tell. Heavy bass, as is the norm. Subject matter is about identity, belonging and peer pressure (I'm probably overanalysing this, yet again).

This song immediately gets 4 bonus marks out of 10 for it's totally badass introduction. That fully-sick-uleh-pumping-bass-from-Holden-Commodore-bruh is completely hilarious in a manner that I did not expect. It's probably not intentional, but I was laughing my ass off for at least a minute after listening to the intro. The subject matter is pertinent, yet amusing. I like this brand of hip-hop. It's not totally offensive to the ear, so it's passable (if amusing) listening.

Rating: 6.5/10

Do give it a listen, even if you're not into hip-hop, this can expand your musical and cultural vocabulary.

EDIT: Stolen from Hans Leung, just to make my post longer and more annoying =D

50 Honest Secrets

01. Who was your last text from?
Shivani.

02. Where was your default picture (facebook) taken?
Home, where the heart is

03. Your relationship status?
Taken.

04. Have you ever lost a close friend?
Lost? Don't think so.

05. What is your current mood?
Annoyed at work load, cheerful, placid, murderous.

06. How many siblings do you have?
Zero.

07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names?
Dick McVengeance

08. Where do you wish you were right now?
At home on December 25th, thinking about how I'm going to get the money for my Uni textbooks (assuming I get into uni, let alone my preferred course).

09. Have a crazy side?
Everyone has a crazy side, it's just matter of intensity. And testosterone.

10. Ever had a near death experience?
I have. I was 9 years old and in China. It was late at night and I was going to catch the last bus towards the train station. I ran across an 8 lane road and nearly got hit by two cars on the way across the road. Yes, I'm insane.

11. Something you do a lot?
Rage, Contemplate the cosmos, homework, your sister OH SNAP

12. Angry at anyone?
Nah. Not anymore. Hate is bad.

13. What's stopping you from going for the last person you like?
Parent.

14. When was the last time you cried?
When I experienced the power of rejection.

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
The purple hippo on my shoulder.

16. What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
"Wow it's late"

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My ladyfriend.

18. What is your favorite month?
December

19. What are you doing right now?
Stealing from Hans Leung, the government.

20. Who do you trust right now?
James Bond.

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Bargain bin in Giordano (is that how you spell it?)

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
Nope.

23. Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
Jong Ree, Trick/Trigmaster. Unfortunately their genius does not permeate and affect my brain. That asian guy from Year 12 last year also lives 5 minutes away, but he's a druggie. Which is probably why I'm so screwed up. All those weed fumes, tut tut.

He's not a friend btw.

24. Describe your life in one word?
Flabbergasting.

25. Who are you thinking of right now?
That food critic from Masterchef wobbling his cheeks.

26. What should you be doing right now?
Anal-ysing Richard III

27. What are you listening to?
Oasis

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
=S

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
I don't remember. I'm a quiet, reserved guy, remember? =D

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
I act differently around everyone. Different person, different needs.

31. What is your natural hair color?
Black.

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Ladyfriend.

33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
Dr. Smith in Chemistry. He goes through the course like I'm expected to understand it.

34. What do you hear?
Piano, Acoustic Guitar, Noel Gallagher

35. Is your hair curly or straight?
Emo straight.

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
LOL I actually think someone has called me that.

As a joke.

37. Do you have a best friend?
I think so.

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
No. Girls think I'm repulsive. But I high-fived a girl a few days ago.

ONE UP

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
It's a sad habit that I try to avoid.

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Nah.

41. Are you happy with life right now?
It's bearable I guess.

42. Are you currently jealous?
Yes, of my school friends' aptitude.

43. What jewelry are you currently wearing?
None.

44. What were you doing on friday night?
English, Accounting, the sad creature I am.

45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Certainly.

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Broken implies I had the effect of holding someone's heart together, which is highly improbable.
I don't think so.

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
Me :)

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
I can't remember. It's been a while...S:

49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
Until 12, English.

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
I have! =O

Until the next time,

Dean

Back to Skoolz.

2009-04-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

Hello again, reader base.

This will probably my last post before the end of the holidays. But then again, what holidays? In my first holiday of Year 12, it really hasn't been much of a holiday so much as a catch up period for homework.

In fact I think most of my holidays has been eaten up by homework. Roughly speaking, I begin homework from 6PM and finish up at about midnight. I sleep a lot in the holidays, so that leaves very little time to do other stuff. I have been on the computer a bit more than usual (though not on MSN). Yay.

I recently bought myself an old iPod shuffle. $64 for the old 1GB model. It's been one of my most satisfying purchases ever; better than my PSP, new PC or new Air Conditioner. Here's my justification for buying the 1GB instead of paying twice as much for four times the storage, and a shuffle, to make myself feel better, and let everyone know :)

Actually buying a shuffle; I know most of the songs I have, and album art is overrated. Therefore I do not need a screen.
I usually listen to music on public transport. My old iPod, affectionally referred to as "the brick" by Edison, is that exactly; an overly large, uncomfortable, and not exactly "portable" in jeans pockets, or school pockets for that matter. Hence I need something extremely small that can be carried around without taking up room in my pockets. Hence, a clip is very useful.
Storage size has never been an issue for me. Being extremely geographically lucky, most of the destinations I use public transport to get to are never more than 45 minutes away. Hence, I don't need massive storage. Besides, realistically I won't get through more than 40 songs in a day, listening to music at home. So 1 GB is plenty of room.
I hate the new headphone thing Apple have done. Essentially, they've monopolised the headphone production for their new shuffle, and third party producers are going to have to pay through the nose to get the licenses and various other crap to produce headphones.
I hate the new headphones. All the controls are on the headphones, and there are only 3 buttons. Murphy's law states that something will go wrong with something that has 3 buttons more frequently than something that has 5 buttons (heavier reliance on fewer resources).
I hate the new headphones. Sure the new shuffle is smaller (easier to lose) and has a bigger capacity (not really needed for me), but if you lose the headphones/they break, you're boned. You have to shell out something like $50 for a pair of (to be honest, not so great) headphones. And you have no choice.
Battery life is apparently lower on the new shuffle. It sucks when you run out of power on an MP3 player.

So yes, I have made myself feel even better about my purchase, and have annoyed you, reader, about it. I feel good :)

Also, had Edison/Adhi/Winston's party yesterday. Was quite fun, enjoyable. My day went something like this:

Dragged myself out of bed early (9:30) to put contact lenses in. As per usual, left eye had no problem, right eye took 6 minutes to get the lens in. Bah.
Left early to meet up with other people in city prior to party. Saw Adhi and Farn at Gardiner's. Ditched their efforts to get to Camberwell Station. Sorry guys.
On the way, went into PSC skateboarding. Their offering of boards is OK, but they hold a lot of crappy boards :S Their gear is quite expensive.
Saw PLC people on the way to MC, said Hi, conversation ensued.
Met Daniel, Vee and Amelia in strange laneways. Funny conversations.
Turned up late to MC, went to Grill'd, met up with rest of CGS/PLC people. Stole chips off people.
Havoc ensued trying to buy tickets for Fast and Furious (yes, you can laugh now). Overly anal ticket booth person needed to see ID, only accepted concession cards (but not driver's license >_>). People got pissed at stupid bitch.
Watched Fast and Furious. Pretty bad. I expected more racing and cool cars. Instead, too much emphasis on stupid American Musclehead cars, not enough imports/tuner cars (which is what every good Asian wants ^_^v). Too much emotionally targetted cheese, extremely poor and lame dialogue, which was worth a laugh itself. Pretty poor.
Rating: 4.5/10
Sat outside State Library for ages, struggled to eat cake.
Walked around, sat in Starbucks, talked. Good times.
Went back to MC, played awesome foosball game, watched Daytona, Pool. Got kicked out of place early because bar was opening.
Said our goodbyes, went our separate ways.
Went with Kai and Looi to Legs and Breasts (it's a restaurant, not a strip club). Ate. Good food, except the food was mega hot. Laughed at mx's dating advice.
Went home. Showered, uni accounting. Final Fantasy. Sleep.

Fun times. Now I want a foosball table lol.

Dean

Yarr.

2009-04-11T04:22:00.000-07:00

Hello readers.

Been bludging these past few days, mostly playing Final Fantasy X and FIFA. But also have been doing homework; finished all my chemistry and physics homework.

Now I have maths, Chinese and English. The annoying ones, that will take absolutely ages. Oh well; those are the subjects I need to do quite well in, so it's fitting that I put in more effort and time.

Recently I've received some music from my friends; unusually, it's a lot of hip-hop and gangsta rap. Ordinarily, I would stick my nose up, but now I'm trying to expand my musical vocabulary in order to.....fit in with the crowd, really. Yet again my preconceptions have been proven wrong; I've been listening to a bit of Mos Def, Talib Kweli and some pretty old stuff, which has fascinating subject matter, like racism, violence and gangster culture. No, really, I find it pretty interesting. Very different to what I've been exposed to all my life; i.e. bubblegum rubbish censored hip-hop like Soulja Boy.

Yes, I'm a sell-out. Shame, I know.

Oh yes; before I forget.

http://goatdean.mybrute.com

Just go to it.

Dean

Not great.

2009-04-09T06:54:00.000-07:00

Hello readers.

Short post, whilst waiting for my hair to dry.

Stupid Liverpool lost at home 3-1 to Chelsea. Damn it.

Got lots of music on iPod; scroll wheel doesn't work anymore.

Want to get a new mp3 player. Want to get a shuffle, looks cool, very cheap, since it's about to be obsolete. But only 1 GB D:

Will actually start doing homework tomorrow. Power!

I think I need to bulk up, but I cbf go to gym in Year 12.

Want to skateboard.

Hair still not dry.

Dean.

Crack.

2009-04-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

Good Hello.

Thought I'd post something short and quick before I go off to Accounting.

Firstly; I got my first Uni Assignment back and it's pretty bad. I'm way below the median and a decent level below the average. Oh well, hopefully this will provide me with some impetus to actually listen in lectures and read the book. Next assignment is on Quickbooks however, and I don't think I'm gonna do particularly well. Meh.

Recently, I've realised how pathetic and antisocial I am on online social communication software; if you have me on MSN (still), you'll know I almost never talk to anyone; I'm usually on for work purposes, asking for help. So sorry if I seem to ignore you, I just really can't be bothered talking on MSN, and will probably weird you out by talking to you.

Which leads me nicely into my antisocialism; I'm a very poor talker online; I struggle to find relevant and interesting things to talk about, and conversations with me usually go a little something like this:

Dean: Wassup
X: Not much, you?
Dean: Yeah, not too much.
X: Had a good holidays?
Dean: Yeah, pretty good.
X: What've you done so far?
Dean: Not much....yeah, like nothing.
X: Okay......

- Awkward "silence" -

Need to learn to make conversation.

Reading that, I laugh at myself. I'm better (I think) at conducting conversations with real people (I hope). I think it's just typing into an inanimate object and have it spitting out someone else's thoughts is a little weird to me. Maybe I suck lol.

Playing Final Fantasy X over again, trying to beat Penance (once again). This probably isn't the wisest idea in Year 12; all that farming requires a colossal expenditure of time, time which I'm already wasting, and not utilising properly. Must motivate self to do work. Rawr.

Got up this morning to watch the soccer. Could not be bothered getting up at 4:30 to watch Man U vs Porto, but fell out of bed to watch Arsenal vs Villareal. Watched 1st half, then went back to sleep.

Impressions after watching extended highlights:
Man Utd vs Porto

+ End to end stuff.
+ Man Utd were generally outclassed by Porto.
+ Good result for Porto. 2 away goals (Y).
+ There's a guy called "Hulk" playing for Porto.
+ Hilarous mistakes by both sides leading to goals.
- Ronaldo didn't get sent off.
- Porto didn't win. Unlucky considering their quality of play.

Good game overall.

Arsenal vs Villareal

+ Cool goals, from both sides.
+ Solid attacking play from Villareal, sometimes?
+ No Bendtner.
+/- Arsenal were really pretty shit.
+ Fabregas got booked for being smart. Funny.
- Too much congestion in midfield. Boring.
- Poor through-balls by both sides.
- A lot of "pinball" football after stoppages in play.
- Robert Pires didn't start.

So yar, that's my day so far. Will try to do homework when I get back from Accounting. At 8pm. >___<" I'll probably have a very early night though; Liverpool plays Chelsea at 4:30, then Barca plays Bayern at 7. Solid football watching time, perfect for holidays =D

Dean.

Things I'd Like.

2009-04-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

Hello readers.

I'm feeling introspective and greedy at the moment; here's a list of things I'd like:

Peace with the world.
Understanding.
Sympathy (Towards others).
Sleep.
To play soccer.
New School shoes.
A sense of relaxation.
Not be so careless.
No homework.
For people around me to be happy.
Friendship.
Liverpool '09 Torres Jersey.
Zoo York deck + attached hardware.

Totally awesome.

Dean.

Unnecessary.

2009-04-04T18:17:00.000-07:00

Good Day.

Upon further introspection, I have realised that one thing makes this world miserable, other than greed, and that is hatred.

What is Hatred?

A quick Wikipedia search found the following:
"Deep, enduring, intense emotion expressing animosity, anger, and hostility towards a person, group, or object."

And it's fair to say that I feel this way about some people.

But yesterday was a revelation to me; hatred is not a healthy thing. It smoulders inside, until it gets too great to manage. And then, you get all twisted and bitter from it, and it stops you enjoying life. You stop enjoying life, then you blame the person you hate because of it, and then it leads to a neverending, destructive cycle.

The reason why I hate is primarily because of people's personalities and their conduct with others. And it gets to the point where I can't even look at the person I hate, because I'm afraid I'm going to leap across the room, and go Bruce Lee on their ass.

Yes, it may be the simplest of revelations, but I have realised that hatred is not good. I want to stop hating, before I change even more because of it.

I will still dislike people, because of their morals and conduct towards others, but I think that hatred is not the best way to express dislike. I believe that the best way to deal with this is to simply acknowledge that you dislike said person, and leave it at that.

However, for a person like me, it can be hard. I don't have the ability to smile at people I hate, nor the ability to maintain a pretence of friendliness or geniality. I simply can't do it; it leaves a greasy taste upon my tongue, and I rebuke myself for being fake.

So how do I deal with hatred? Become the very thing I hate, a pretender? Or buy a punching bag? Hatred isn't an easy thing to let go of, but that won't stop me from trying.

Dean.

I am a Fiend.

2009-04-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

Howdy all.

Over the last few years of my life, I have come to realise that I am a bad person.

I'm arrogant.
I'm lazy.
I'm stupid.
I complain too much.
I'm foolish.
I'm easily angered.
I have no empathy.
I'm selfish.
I'm loud.
I'm annoying.
I'm hypocritical.
I'm cruel.
My moral compass does not point straight and true.

I am sorry for making people's lives annoying.

But looking at the above list, I think I have found a way to solve all this: To keep my mouth shut, and look instead.

I shall try keep my mouth shut in general from now on. Progress will be slow, but I will gradually reduce my annoyance factor, and SHUT UP. I think I'll set this as something of a goal.

Dean.

Muted.

2009-03-30T23:58:00.000-07:00

Hello again, readers.

I am crushed once again:

Failed my physics SAC: got exactly class average of 86%
Failed my chemistry SAC; got (barely) slightly higher than average; 90.3%
Failed my english Point of View; got 95%

All of which was revealed during Parent-Teacher interviews. BAD.

Usually, I'd go emo and rage and kill, but now I'm feeling strangely.....neutral. I have this muted (no other word that can really describe it) feeling in my stomach. And I'm not sad or anything. This could be positive; I'm letting things go by easier, not taking VCE too seriously. Or it could be a far worse thing; I'm not taking VCE seriously anymore.

I think it's a bit of both.

I'm becoming more jaded; so many SAC's, with so little time to prepare for all of them, I'm just taking them as they come, not really taking them too seriously I have to say. So that is probably not a good thing.

But a good thing out of this, is that I'm probably being a bit more realistic about my SAC mark targets; being of modest intellectual capability, my best can only get me so far. So I'm aiming for a high A/low A+ for all of my SAC's; this is achievable for me, and I can still get (hopefully) in the mid to high 40's for my subjects. One would hope.

I think being realistic about my goals is far more satisfying than forever aiming for the stars, and crashing down to earth. It's comforting that my goals can be achieved, rather than pointlessly aiming for 110 for VCE. It's all about the course you want to get into in University, after that, what you get for VCE is pointless.

So there, I admitted I fail at school. I feel better now :)

Also, Hans touched on something that was interesting. He was surprised by the fact that I am from Shanghai, but then again, was not so surprised because I am loud (and inherently stupid). That made me laugh. Good moment.

Chinese Party Tomorrow!

Dean

My Name was Jonas.

2009-03-30T04:39:00.000-07:00

Howdy everyone again.

With this post, I have equalled the number of last year's post, and it's only April/late March. Yay, I have finally committed to a blog, and I think I'm richer for it. This blog is a good ranting/venting tool. Lets me let off some steam without having to resort to violence =D

Today's notable occurences:

Did Physics SAC; deceptively easy, don't trust myself here.
Fell asleep in Methods.
English practice SAC; point of view, pointless for the actual exam.
Got back English practice language analysis SAC; aced it. But the only way is down now =S
Got followed by numerous wasps at lunch time, hit by soccer ball.
Struggled through NMR exercises in Chemistry. People came to our school to look at the AAS machine (I think). Which is funny, considering our machine is 50 years old and sucks.
Did jack in Chinese (as per usual).
Did Uni Accounting homework; took 2 HOURS. WTF.

Can't be bothered doing my Chinese essay/methods homework. That is what Private Study periods are for. And I have a double tomorrow. See how well I plan my procrastination? It's an ironic blend of good planning and laziness. Except I usually get distracted/fall asleep in spares. Oh dear, it's time to rely on my old transient and unreliable friend "Self-discipline". Crap.

Must bring Chinese dictionary to school.

I'm already in holiday mode; I'm totally relaxed and can't be bothered doing anything at the moment. Homework is in "screw this, do it later" category, which will (knowing me) leave me with a tonne of homework in the last 3 days of the holidays. Oh well. You have to pay a price for enjoying your holidays. But I still plan to work and revise and all the usual stuff. School has already set us a decent amount of holiday homework. Damn it.

I can't wait to finish school and (hopefully) get into university. My goal is to get into the Monash Law/Commerce double degree, which has a clearly-in ENTER of 98.20. I think this is achievable. But if I don't do so well, I can fall back onto the Melbourne Commerce degree, then branch off into Law after the 3 years. I need a 95.2 for this. So there's a bit of leeway. I just hope I don't flunk VCE and end up frying burgers for the rest of my life.

Plus I really want to take up skating again and learn how to play squash and badminton (properly). Guitar and Piano are also up there. Stupid VCE, no time to do anything.

Filled with desire and hope,

Dean

And here....we......go.

2009-03-27T17:57:00.000-07:00

Sup guise.

My strange mood swings have left me happy of late. This is probably due to a number of reasons:
1) Chem SAC which I flunked no longer counts =D
2) 2nd Chem SAC wasn't so bad. I Hope.
3) Not much homework.
4) Trying to be more friendly (maybe not working so well but it's still an attempt).
5) More free time than normal.
6) Catching up with old friends.

I know that in Year 12 I'm supposed to do extra revision and shit even if I don't have that much homework, but truth be told I'm already in holiday mode. But i'm thinking of it this way; this last week of school can act as my holiday; in the "real" holidays, I'll start ramping up the revision and work.

I say that, but it probably won't work.

Physics SAC is on Monday. I'll study later tonight. Lots of Chinese homework. Uni Accounting Homework to be done as well. I really can't be bothered.

Oh and I found something that made me really happy; my old skateboard! Yes readers, that's right, I used to skate. If you know anything about me, then you probably know that I hate little skater kids, skater emos and people like that, because they give skateboarding a bad name. I rolled on a bit this morning; I can't ollie (or anything, if I'm honest) anymore, but it brought back fond memories.

I used to skate when I was young. I remember even though I dislocated my nose trying to kickflip (don't laugh, it's harder to land than it looks D:) , and numerous nutchecks, it was still a really fun hobby. Just riding around, no vandalism, no ridiculous clothing/piercings/hair dye, just rolling around, having fun. I never caused shenanigans on a skateboard; e.g. running old ladies over/vandalising public property/stealing/(insert negative stereotype here). That's just a negative preconception created because of skater fags.

PROTIP: Real skaters are actually very nice people.

Some of my first friends were skaters, and honestly, they are probably some of the best friends I have ever made. Even though most of them have quit skating, they still remain some of the best people I have ever known. Laid back, relaxed, supporting, nice people. A lot of people I know, well, contrast strongly against these people. They are "piss poor morally". They aren't "friends". They are people you have to hang around because you choose to belong inside a particular group. I plan to take up the skateboard after Year 12 finishes. And guitar. And pick up piano again. And learn to play squash.

Haha, maybe I'm being a bit ambitious.

Now that I'm done reminiscing/ranting, it's time for Song of the Week!

Song of the Week: Gives You Hell - All American Rejects

Music is in a sad state of decline. This song is cheery, I guess; maybe for getting over breakups or something? Other than that, I really don't understand the popularity of the song. It has the trademark "people yelling and clapping" section the All American Rejects always do, but otherwise, it's a fairly bland, annoying and silly song. And of course, it's extremely repetitive, which I hate. The subject material is stupid; it's actually quite a bitter and vengeful song.

"Truth be told, I miss you, and truth be told, I'm lying."

Sums up the song really. Convoluted, idiotic noise.

Rating: 4.5/10

Really bad. If you're bitter and disillusioned, there are many far better songs to listen to.

Until the next time,

Dean

Worst day of my life.

2009-03-23T04:38:00.000-07:00

To quote Tom (albeit with edits):

1) I am a failure.
2) I have been a failure my whole life.
3) Everyone hates me.
4) I am going to die because of VCE.
5) i'm a Leo, and therefore i am a failure.
6) Because i am Asian and loud I will not do well in life.
7) My dad is smart, but I am not.
8) My consciousness is cynical about anything i say.
9) i have unrealistic goals in life.
10) I will probably fail VCE.
11) I fail at everything.
12) My personality fails.
13) My assessment report fails.

Yes, an unluckily numbered list of reasons why my life is shit. I hate VCE. Our headmaster said this year will be the best of our lives. Heh.

Today was horrible. I woke up, turned the light on, and the light bulb exploded. Ominous sign already. Got out of bed, stepped on my folder. Another bad sign.

Got to school, fell asleep in Jon's car. Got to school. Struggled through physics. Emo'd through methods. Did language analysis in English. Got the overall issue wrong. Another bad sign.

Lunch time: Played soccer. My already torn shoe got stepped on by some idiot white guy. Now the bottom half is falling off. Left my blazer on the surface. Forgot about it. No-one's seen it. FUCK.

Chemistry: This was the pinnacle of my day; got back my SAC; and I did EMBARRASINGLY badly. The homework sheet from last week was even worse. Felt like sticking a hand grenade in my mouth. Chem SAC on Thursday. Enter panic mode/DEFCON 1.

Chinese: Only highlight of my day. Ranked 2nd or 3rd in class for Listening/Response SAC.

Other highlight: Liverpool kinda raped Aston Villa. Watched Man U fail against Fulham again. Watched Paul Scholes try to repeat his Zenit trick and fail again. Laughed at Rooney raging and being sent off. Laughed at Berbatov's uselessness. Laughed at how Vidic got his due punishment (being suspended) for being the dirtiest defender alive.

Today has been a shit day. An incredibly shit day. But then again, everyone has bad days. And i'm sure most people's bad days are far worse than mine. I am but an insignificant speck of human waste in the sea of people on this planet.

I'll feel relieved when I fall asleep.

Take it easy all,

Dean

Veni, Vidi, Vici..........FIFA.

2009-03-21T00:32:00.000-07:00

Hello again.

I am slightly happy (maybe) at the moment. This is because for once I did homework on a Friday, which dramatically cut down on my homework today. Thus, I conquered. But what's sort of worrying is that in order to actually make myself do homework, I stayed after school. Did chemistry and physics for 2 hours. I win. Chemistry SAC next week. I must ace, in order to atone for my embarrassing Methods SAC. Got my English SAC back on Friday as well. Better than expected I guess.

My day today consisted of the usual: homework and FIFA. Got up at 10, ate breakfast, then got straight into physics homework. Projectile motion actually isn't too difficult, as long as you keep some underlying assumptions:

1) No air resistance.
2) Symmetrical flight path (hence velocity).
3) Zero velocity at the top of the parabola.
4) Time is consistent for both horizontal and vertical motion.

I have no idea why I typed that out. Oh well, it makes me feel better about my rubbish physics ability. But I digress.

PROTIP: Physics sucks.

Did some more physics assignment questions, then went on to Point of View homework. Did two pieces. I find Point of View to be easier than language analysis. My language analysis is quite terrible; "Keep at your context essay because I think that will be your strongest piece" quote Piscioneri. Oh well. Still got a few months to practice. Took bloody ages.

Went on to do my Uni Accounting Assignment. Pretty standard fare except for the last case study; a few vague areas which 3/4 accounting didn't touch on. Made an educated (not really) guess. Again, took bloody ages. Can't be bothered with tutorial homework tonight. Can wait for tomorrow.

Actually the most interesting thing that happened to me this week was in Chinese on Friday (shock horror!). Ms Shiau had us reading about the generation gap in Australia and China. She asked some really random questions about how our (boys in a boys school) parents deal with our....erm.....dress etiquette. Strange. But it set me thinking, how much a person's perceptions and sense of normality can change with circumstances and age.

Example: Boys of 16-24 (i.e. our age) enjoy looking at girls who dress to flaunt, not to cover up. But why is this? Is this some insidious machination created by Western society that is slowly percolating into Eastern cultures? Maybe it's a form of anti-communism? The whole rebellious teenager thing? Who knows. For the purpose of this musing session, it's not important.

PROTIP: Americans are to blame for everything that's wrong with kids today. Obesity, promiscuity, violence, drugs, you name it.

Sure, I like looking at girls and how they dress but how will I feel in the future? What about when we become adults and have children of our own? I'm sure our attitudes will be very different towards mini-skirts, short-shorts, high heels and similarly blasphemous (lol) articles of clothing. We will learn what it is like to be a parent. Worrying about your daughter being out on a Friday night getting up to God/Jehovah/Buddha/(insert divine being of choice) knows what. Thinking about that actually starts to make me feel some sympathy towards what I thought were "overprotective" parents of some girls. I think I'd act the same way those parents do.

I've probably offended some female readers (if indeed i have female readers, or readers at all). If so, I'm sorry. I don't seek to offend, merely explore some of the cultural ramifications of our choices. This is starting to sound like a context essay. I'll stop.

Wow that was a random tangent.

But with continuing on a random SinΘ/CosΘ (Jeez I'm lame), it's time for Song of the Week!

Song of the Week: My Delirium - Ladyhawke

This song is pretty cool. Reminds me a bit of Cloud Control (if you've heard of them) mixed with MGMT and the weird of The Killers. For me, these song represents something I'd listen to if I was epic high/stoner/just woke up. It's different, even if it's a little repetitive. It's not bad fare. I like it. Don't worry, it's not death metal/stoner rock/rage-emo.

Rating: 6.5/10

Pretty good. Listen. If you're not into electronic/alternative, then you might give it a pass.

That about does it for now folks.

Cheers,

Dean

The Animus.

2009-03-18T04:06:00.001-07:00

Hello.

Feeling emo at the moment, so I am here on the blog again. 2 SAC's this week; Chinese Listening/Responding and Methods. English SAC result tomorrow. Potential disaster.

PROTIP: English sucks.

Chinese SAC was ok I guess; didn't get all of it down but it was mostly ok. Methods SAC however was a disaster; completely ruined one of the Logarithm questions and carelessness meant I forgot to apply the lower domain restriction on the 2nd final graph. 4 marks gone down the drain, and self-confidence with it.

How does one become less careless? I have tried slowing down in tests, yet I find myself overlooking some very basic mistakes, such as defining the domain of log2(x-1) as R/{1} =_=". Perhaps I should learn how to check. Maybe that will help.

Went to Uni Accounting today. Largely played V-Rally on my phone, Sudoku on Augustine's phone and did Chemistry homework in the lecture. Tutorial was boring and a waste of time. Got home late, couldn't be bothered doing any homework, felt too shitty to study.

Life is pretty bad at the moment. I think my personality is changing for the worse; I'm talking a lot of shit, most of it unhelpful, insulting and not very useful. I'm becoming more easily aggravated, whilst paradoxically becoming more and more reserved. I'm becoming a less useful member of society. Not good.

PROTIP: If you don't have anything useful to say, then don't say anything.

Year 12 is interestingly, not an entire year. Once I'm done with it, I will be liberated from school, and everything from it. I can start over. School has been largely ok, but carries some not so pleasant memories. University and work-life will be completely and utterly awesome. But until then, I will grit my teeth and suffer another 8 months of school. Who you choose to have around you, defines you as a person. What does that mean I'm becoming?
I can't really be bothered with Song of the Week today. Maybe on Friday.

When life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold.

EDIT: Upon reading my own work, I realise that I have become darker in thought, and purpose.

Dean

Void and Null.

2009-03-06T22:22:00.000-08:00

Good Tidings.

I'm here on the blog again, bored, and procrastinating. This week has been full on (but what week isn't in Year 12?), but overall actually quite enjoyable.

This week was the first University Accounting lecture, with the universities starting up and what not. Overall it was actually quite....well, boring. The lecturer was quite entertaining with his strange analogies and Asian mannerisms (despite being Mediterranean in origin), and I'm pleased that he's the lecturer for the rest of the year (I think).

PROTIP: Financially educated people hate Americans.

But the subject matter was mostly a rehash of Unit 3 accounting. No homework set for this week (I think). By the looks of things, it should be a pretty fun subject to undertake. Plus I get university credit for it. Win-win situation. No tutorials yet.

PROTIP: Sleep in lectures. Pay attention in tutorials.

Dunno how useful tutorials are, but there is mandatory attendence, otherwise your percentage goes down for the year. The only problem I forsee so far is that it is always on a Wednesday, which is the CGS day for most SAC's; this means I have to forgo my lunch and do SAC's early. Also, travel is an issue; the school provides a taxi there only on SAC dates, and never provides transport back. I timed the travel at around 40 minutes from Melbourne Uni back to my home, which was at rush hour. Normally, I estimate around 50 minutes to an hour travel time. Which is not good, because if the tutorials finish at 7:15, then I get home at around 8:10-ish. And I'll be tired as hell and won't be bothered to do homework. But we'll see.

Another topic is the strangeness of Year 12. I did my Physics SAC yesterday and it was OK; wasn't too difficult apart from some little things, but a little long. Why I bring this topic up is that I realised that for the 4 or 5 SAC's I've had this year, I don't really get a chance to study for them; I've always got a massive pile of homework to do, which usually takes me until around 12 to finish, and by then my brain is mush, and can't retain anything. But I seem to do OK in them (so far). I guess when you're pulling 4-5 hours of homework a night, the revision is kind of in-built to the task.

Interesting occurances: last night there was an "earth-tremor" close to my house; I was sitting in my room reading when all of a sudden the walls starting shaking. At first I though someone was parking their car in our garage; that usually makes my room shake and hum. But this was really really strong, and it kinda freaked me out. I thought the walls were going to fall over. Oh and yesterday I almost got hit by a speeding car as I got off the tram. It was freaky.

I've decided to help out (read: blackmailed) in House Music; once again I'll be Derham's rubbish piano man. We've actually got some cool songs in mind for the unison song; but instrumentals will fall to someone else (I cbf). I actually have quite a bit of fun with House Music every year, despite my hatred for piano. I hope we don't fail this year; we usually come 1st or 2nd, but this year we really don't have any exceptionally dedicated/awesome musicians. Yay.

EPL News; Liverpool lost to Middlesborough. Slim title chances gone. Win against Sunderland is irrelevant; too far off the pace. Manchester United unlikely to drop any points.

PROTIP: Benitez has lost touch. Give him the sack. So what if he won the Champions League (by a Steven Gerrard dive).

Without further ado; it's time for Song of the Week:

Song of the Week: Live Your Life Feat. Rihanna - T.I.

This is an interesting one. This song at first glance doesn't have a lot going for it; usually I'm not a fan of hip-hop, it has the introduction to the Numa Numa song, it features the untalented and whiny Rihanna (who is rubbish and doesn't write her own songs), but the subject matter is what makes this song interesting. There's the customary self-ego inflating bullshit all rappers have, but there's some respectable stuff said; certainly "rappers today are comedy" (See: Soulja Boy, Flo Rida). "The hootin' and the hollerin/back and forth with the arguin'" A bit of hypocrisy there, T.I? Oh well. And then we have my favourite lines of the entire song:

"Seems as though you lost sight/of what's important when depositin/them checks into your bank account"

"Your values is in disarray, prioritising horribly/unhappy with the riches 'cause you piss poor morally"

Very pertinent in the current Western Capitalist/Exploitation market. Now the stupid Yankee bastards and the rest of the world is suffering for it. But I digress; you've probably heard it a lot on the radio already. If not, overanalyse it like I did, and enjoy it.

Rating: 7/10

Not traditonally my cup of tea, but wiser for listening to it. Opening my mind to alternative music. Good.

That's it for now, folks.

Take it easy;

Dean

When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold.

2009-02-27T02:22:00.000-08:00

Hello.

I am bored once again, and am blogging when I should be doing homework/study instead. Oh well, that's what the weekend is for. Fridays have become my total relax day, with no study/whatever done. Totally non-productive day. Got home, showered, ate stuff. Played FIFA. Went to sleep. Good day. Year 12 though, I probably have to change that habit.

Got bored, felt like doing some reflective survey thing. Because I'm so egotistical and obsessed about myself. So I stole from Tuck-Seng.

25 Random Things About Me.

1. My name is Dean, Dave, or Little Lion.

2. I dislike sweet foods. Dunno why. Savoury all the way.

3. I have a bad habit of swearing a lot. Trying to cut down.

4. I used to be double jointed in both thumbs. Now I'm not.

5. I have not yet been to the continents of Africa or Antarctica yet, and would like to go some day. Penguins =D

6. I used to like piano a lot. Then my parents went Asian on me and forced me to practice a lot. Now I hate it. But I would like to pick piano up again, and possibly learn guitar as well.

7. I mostly lose all my marks on careless errors in tests. And I generally lose A LOT of them.

8. I once had a drag of a cigarette in China. The experience was so traumatic that every time I smell that stench, I almost vomit. But I'm too cool to show it ;D

9. I have a lot of different "personalities" or facets of personalities. Keeps people guessing. Sometimes people think I'm bipolar though :S

10. I used to follow religion, but not anymore. Perhaps my faith is weak, or I'm a weak person by nature, but I don't see how an omnipotent deity(ies) can idly watch their "offspring" go around killing each other, etc.

11. I prefer being cold to being warm.

12. I'm bad at Maths. Even my English is better than my Maths. Yes, that's how bad I am.

13. I like Asian girls. Without dyed hair. I find hair dye only looks good in a very particular shade of "caramelness", and I seldom see that particular shade of brown. Anywhere.

14. I like to overanalyse habits of people. And make strange, illogical conclusions.

15. I like to brood over my socio-political/economic theories in solitude.

16. Once I fell out of a tree and broke both my wrists. Aced.

17. I'm probably too judgmental. I make silly assumptions about people over the smallest things.

18. I like different music from most people, and have strong opinions about what constitutes a "good" song.

19. I like soccer. Both playing it and watching it. I support Liverpool, who despite being a "Big Four" club, suck quite badly.

20. Forgive my MSN etiquette; I never talk unless prompted to, and usually make poor conversation. I don't like talking online.

21. I have a stiletto stab-mark on my chest. Reminds me never to insult ladies that enjoy wearing high heels and are prone to outbursts of random violence.

22. I think normal earlobe piercings are cool. Not like crazy massive holes that you can poke your finger through, no industrial piercing rubbish, just plain earrings. I think they look cool on guys and girls.

23. I hate wearing glasses. They are impractical and annoying. Saving up for laser eye surgery.

24. I am fairly lazy, and procrastinate quite a lot. That will have to change this year.

25. I used to skate when I was in Grade 2 because I got a skateboard from my uncle. Then one day I tried to kickflip. I slipped on the board and dislocated my nose. Then my mum banned me from skateboarding.

Wow. This post was long. Song of the Week can wait until next post.

No PROTIP's either. Disgraceful.

Cheers,

Dean.

Dangers of the Bottomless Ocean

2009-02-24T02:55:00.000-08:00

Hello

Forgive the unusual title; I felt like changing something up. You see, for the past few weeks, life has been monotonous and quite boring; go to school, get miserable, go home, do homework, study, sleep, rinse and repeat. In fact it's so similar (or perhaps my study habits are) that I find that I can no longer distinguish between days; the only difference in days is what order I have classes in.

I'm feeling a little down at the moment. Life is very restrictive, with little free time to do anything. This is compounded by the fact that I no longer have time for the things I enjoy; my drastically reduced presence on MSN is probably indicative of this. Not that I actually talk on MSN; I'm more of a "observe people's display names to see what's going on in the world" sort of stalker/person. Life is all homework, boredom and study. The problem is, I'm already burning out of enthusiasm and determination, and it's only Week 5 (?). Dunno how I'm gonna keep this up all year.

In fact, this blog entry is born of lack of motivation; usually I would be doing some Chemistry or Methods study right now, but to be brutally honest, I honestly can not be fucked. I can't focus on it anymore, and don't want to. Instead, I am here typing on the computer and going to bed early; more sleep is good, and of course, Champions League is on tomorrow morning =D Arsenal vs Roma. I'll watch tomorrow's instead of 2 days from now; Chelsea vs Juventus seems kinda boring to be honest.

Had Chinese SAC today. It was good; I actually had a good storyline and found myself writing a meaningful, coherent piece of prose*. Found myself developing ideas and stuff; utilised the time well, proofread. SAC was worth 10% (!!!) of overall SAC mark. Hope I don't fail :S

PROTIP: Plan your essays. That way you win.

Chem SAC tomorrow. Gonna be shit; titrations, despite being "a highly accurate quantitative analysis technique" never actually work in a school lab; concordant titres are like leprechauns, the Loch Ness Monster and hot Asians with dyed hair; non-existent.

PROTIP: Fabrication is your friend.

Oh and I got my English Context Essay back. Passed by the skin of my teeth. I tried to be tricky, but failed. I'm too focused on "conceptual theories, but don't pull it off successfully". Other choice comments include "You haven't handled this well", "Irrelevant" and "Get on with it". I suppose I do have a tendency to waffle on. I'm not good at English. Damn. Actually, I'm not that good at any subject. I don't know how I'm in Year 12.

VCE is gay. Getting tired. Less friendly. Agro. No Happy. Progressively worse grades. ENTER is looking like <90 the way I'm cruising.

Song of the Week: Desert Eagle by Ratatat

If you like MGMT like most people do, then you'll like Ratatat. They are quite awesome, and one of my favourites. Electronic/Alternative/Indie (that's kind of pushing it). Good song. Listen.

Rating: 7.5/10

Do listen. It's different. Better than Top 40.

Wow that was a shit post.

Cheers,

Dean

*Subject to statistical moderation.

Garlic and Ginger

2009-02-13T16:09:00.000-08:00

Howdy.

Went to PLC Twilight Picnic event/fundraiser/advertising last night. Twas good. Had fun. Walked around. Went to Hungry Jacks. Trammed home, seeing some really freaky/disgusting emo people. They kinda scared me.

PROTIP: Emos are disgusting.

Week was OK. Went to school, stoned as always. Starting to drink coffee; keeps me fresh on those long days (ironic how an 8 period day has started to become super tiring). Soccer on the oval at lunchtimes. Always fun. Got my physics test back; Asian failed it. Oh Physics, how I hate you so. Careless mistakes. I hope they don't shift into my methods work. They probably already have.

Got Year 12 tie. Looks pretty good. Needed a new tie; mine's incredibly dirty. Not great quality, but it's a memento of Year 12. So it's cool. I think that even though I've had some shitty moments, I'll look back fondly on my high school days. Lots of good memories.

On Wednesday, I had Chili-Lemon grilled octopus. It was really really good. So good in fact, that I had to comment on it. On the topic of food, I've been fully utilising the sandwich press in the Year 12 common room; even though usually there's a line, the melted cheese and smell of grilled salami is well worth the wait. I don't know how I ever lived with cold lunches.

Random topic change: I'm not racist. I don't inherently hate people because of their skin colour, religion or origin. I hate people because of what they do. There are some real idiots at our school, most of whom tend to be Caucasian, specifically, Australian. I don't hate Australians, most of them are good guys. Except there are just some people that are:

A: Perpetually thoughtless of others (a lot).
B: Perpetually hate non-Caucasians (Few).
C: Perpetually all of the above (very few).

Unfortunately, there are many people that fall into the A category. It is these people that anger me, and perhaps make me do things that I ordinarily wouldn't do. That is why certain Australians in the school community are surprised at my aggression when they do something idiotic; they have this racial stereotype ingrained in their minds that Asians are timid, quiet people that won't care if you step all over them. Screw that. I'll stand my ground. If you piss me off, I WILL get angry. If you continue to piss me off, I WILL fuck you up.

Consider yourself warned.

On a lighter note, it's time for Song of the Week: Human by the Killers.

This is probably one of my favourite songs of all time, even though it's relatively new, in an age of rubbish on the radio. I love this song. It's very unique; calming yet exhilarating, inspiring, frightening, thought-provoking (through misinterpretation of lyrics). Listen to it when you're hung over, feeling down, up, left or right. It is a typical Killers song; contradictory, alternative Indie, that you can dance to (if you can, which I personally can't). This is definitely one of the best songs in the last few years, even by the Killers' standards.

Buy the album, Day & Age. Yes, it's that good. The Killers deserve the money when they're producing music of this calibre. I bought the CD. It's incredible.

Rating: 9/10

Peace,

Dean

Driving slow on Sunday Mornings.......

2009-02-07T20:39:00.000-08:00

Good Afternoon.

Been a good day today. Woke up at 9, which was earlier than usual; went to my most hated place in Melbourne....BOX HILL. Yes, I realise the irony in that statement; I am proudly Asian, and yet I hate the most Asian place in Melbourne (possibly excluding Springvale). It's just a place that I don't really like; sure, it has lots of Asian food goodness and cool Asian people, but it brings the part of Asia I don't like to Melbourne; stinking cesspools of rotten fruit vegetables. Public spitting. Everyone smoking. People yelling at each other. ~~Hot~~ Asian girls with dyed (read: RUINED) hair. Yes, it's quite awful.

PROTIP: Avoid Box Hill. Don't even breathe there.

On the topic of hair, I got a haircut today. It's pretty good, if I do say so myself. The dude who cut it had this soppy, coy expression on his face. He kept playing with my hair after each snip of the scissor; I admit it kinda creeped me out. He sort of looked like Jackie Chan.

I'm going to call him Shen from now on.

Also had a dentist appointment; consisted of Asian guy who smelled of boiled lamb sticking a drillbit into my gums. It hurt. Spat out a LOT of blood.

PROTIP: Floss everyday, otherwise you get a drill stuck in your mouth. With an evil looking anaesthetist watching you.

Got home, showered, washed out all the loose/cut hair still on my scalp. Realised the hairspray no longer sprays out product. Damn. Had instant noodles for lunch. <3

Watched Gong Fu. Exceedingly stupid, but funny movie. Good times. Found some money in my draw; plan to buy Year 12 tie; if Bob Stewart stores don't have it/are more expensive. Curious.

Liverpool won. BECAUSE OF FERNANDO TORRES. Babel, once again, demonstrated his utter uselessness by somehow nutmegging himself when trying to shoot. Keeper nowhere in sight, it would have been easier to score than to miss. GET RID OF HIM.

PLC Twilight Picnic thing coming up. Hopefully I can go. It was fun last year.

Until the next time,

Dean

And he was all, like....Q.Q

2009-02-07T00:25:00.001-08:00

Hi.

Back again on the blog. Week has been OK I guess, not too much homework except for Thursday night (about 2.5 hours). Cruising through Year 12 so far. Year 12 Depression has gone, replaced by a general sense of numbness; the lack of enthusiasm is still there, just less saddening. In fact, I would say I'm quite happy at the moment.

Liverpool lost FA Cup tie to Everton. Rawr. Lucas sucks. Sell him off. Babel is shit. Sell him too. In fact, get rid of Benitez. He's kind of losing it, and the squad has little quality. Perhaps I'm too critical, but the inconsistent run of form and general fail at scoring goals gets kind of annoying.

Downloaded some new music again. Cold War Kids and some other random Indie stuff. Ironic that most of the non-signed Indie labels suck shit, and only the signed ones are any good. But it's OK.

It's way too hot today; closed the windows early, so it peaked at around 37 indoors. Turned the AC on, coolness, but only in the living room. Sat in living room, finished Methods, Chem homework. Context Essay yet to be started. Played some PS2, watched Nil By Mouth. Watched 300 as well. Epic movie; always seems to get me in the mood to own. Homework.

After homework, I showered, realising I've still got a triangle shaped sunburn bit on my chest from gridiron on Thursday. I also realised I can no longer kick with the instep of my foot.

Dentist appointment tomorrow, and haircut. Mum's been saying my hair makes me look like an ogre (not direct translation). Fringe is too long, and sideburns are getting kind of annoying. Thinning time.

A lot of people's birthdays recently. Happy Birthday to everyone.

I'm considering dropping Physics; long has Physics been my shittest subject (that I can do anything about). I'm currently doing 6 subjects this year; I'm unlikely to do well in Physics, and it's probably not going to be in my top 6 anyway. Thought provoking.

Got first piece of assessment in Year 12. 8.5/10 for Chem prac. Depressing. Chem is suddenly harder than it was last year. Gravimetric analysis equations. Rawr.

Uni-accounting starts around March. Actually quite excited; see if I'm any good at living the university life/if University subjects are as easy as everyone says. Uni email account finally working; still no timetable.

Song of the Week Time! How Exciting!

Song: B.Y.O.B by System of a Down.
Politically charged roaring. Normally I'm not a huge fan of System of a Down; I only have a couple of their songs. Listening to this song, first impressions it's another angry rage metal scream music. Closer inspection (at the lyrics) reveal it's a protest song at America's involvement in Iraq. Any America-hating is fine with me. Some pretty epic guitar bits. Sounds kind of disjointed, mish-mashy. But it's different, and I find it a decent song.

Rating: 7/10
Give it a listen; just looked it up and it won a Grammy. So the idiot Americans couldn't tell it was directed against their involvement in Iraq. If you're not into heavy political metal, you might pass this one over.

PROTIP: Study hard for Year 12. Otherwise you die. No, really.

Until the next time,

Dean

Boring. Year 12 Sucks.

2009-02-01T02:11:00.001-08:00

Hello.

Firstly, Happy Birthday TUCKSENG.

As the title suggests, I am already full of enthusiasm for Year 12 and VCE in general. I got up this morning. Felt kinda sleepy and unenthusiastic as soon as I got up. Went for a walk to clear my head. Bought the paper on the way home. Browsed through it unenthusiastically. Ate breakfast whilst watching Video Hits. Largely rubbish, but some O.K. songs I guess.

Went online, checked emails, soccer scores. I think my Gmail has been hacked or something; I'm having a lot of trouble signing in. Yahoo account is getting spammed as usual. Melbourne Uni email account not working either; everything in disarray, fail. Watched soccer replays. Aston Villa vs Wigan was exciting. Wow those teams have lucky goalkeepers. Depression kind of set in; Liverpool have neither the quality, nor the consistency to put up a title challenge. It's a two man team, and one hasn't been in form of late, with injuries and the like. I think I might support another team; maybe Blackburn Rovers? XD

Downloaded some new music; mostly Weezer, Cold War Kids and some other random songs. Pretty good stuff. Logged off, then did Chinese essays. I think Chinese is the root of my miseries; two essays and a test due tomorrow; not feeling stressed, but actually kind of depressed; will I have to devote this much time to a single subject? One that I find not too difficult? What about the more difficult ones? Bleh. Perhaps I'm worrying too much. Much ado over nothing.

Read Secret River Part 1 again, annotated as requested. Quite of few people dislike this book; I guess I'm different; I enjoy the way it's written, and geniunely find it interesting. A bright spot in a boring day, I guess. Interesing. =D Also started downloading 300, the DVD version, special features and all. Epic movie =D

Now for some actually opinionated and maybe interesting exposition! Time for Song of the Post! (Modified from Song of the Week)

Song of the Week: My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson.

Heard this on the radio today; listened. It's an alright sort of song I guess, better than most of the other garden variety Pop rubbish you can find on a depressing regularity on the radio; it's an OK song. Kelly Clarkson can sing, melody isn't too bad, but there's too much reliance on the chorus and the overused cadences in most Pop and Hip-Hop music. A better Pop song than most.

Rating:
5.5/10; Not ear-bleedingly poor, OK to listen to if you feel like being cheered up or something? I'm obviously not a fan of most Top 30/Pop songs, but it's OK to listen to. Better fare than Britney Spears or Miley Cyrus (I think that's how you spell it?)

Until next post;

Dean

First Days

2009-01-30T19:35:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone;

This week was kind of big, in that it was my first week back at school; and first week in Year 12. So far, it hasn't really been that bad I guess; for once I didn't get the first day of school panic syndrome that I usually get; i.e. I get to school and start getting homework and then I start getting really anxious, nervous, etc. Don't ask me why I get it, I just do. But apparently not anymore. Yay.

First day at school was really relaxed; I only had 2 40 minute classes that day, and no homework. Second day was really more of the same; I just sat more classes, and only got an essay as homework. Due the next day. Wtf. And then Friday; got 2 essays for the weekend to do, some physics questions, some reading for English, and that's really about it; Year 12 hasn't dumped a shitload of homework on me like I expected it would, but I guess the tonne of homework will start coming when SAC's start to approach. Oh well, I guess it's kind of good that I will be getting more homework; it puts my brain to use, and gives me something to do other than using the computer. I'm probably going to regret saying that LOL.

So far I'm pretty happy with all my classes; I don't really have any super annoying people in my class, and the teachers are all fairly good (well, they have good "reputations" as far as I know). Plus we're in Year 12, so we get priority over the smaller, insignificant children. =D

In fact the only hitch in this week was the ungodly temperatures; this entire week has been middling in the 40's; I've been sweating like crazy, and unable to concentrate on anything, other than how damn hot it is, or those annoying flies buzzing around the windows. Going outside when the wind is blowing is like getting hit by a sledgehammer. A sledgehammer of hot. But the weather's gotten slightly better now; instead of a brain-melting 45, it's now a bearable 28 degrees, and cooler changes set to come into effect next week. Wow I really sound like a weather person. Useless.

Otherwise, this week has been smooth and fairly enjoyable. I've taken this week relatively easily, I shall probably try harder next week. Probably. XD

Meh. This post was quite shit.

Oh, and I think I will start posting up a new section for this blog; Song of the Week; possibly a song that I like/have recently heard/want to critique. Something that might be interesting for those of you who wish to expand your musical vocabulary. Wow that sounded arrogant.

So, without further ado:

This week's song is The Conducter by The Faint. It's an electronic/alternative genre song (I think). I like this song, dark, brooding, melancholic, yet energetic. This song is quite old, and has been in the VLC playlist for quite a long time. Turned on shuffle, and this came on. One of my favourite songs quite a few months ago. Still a good song I think.

I rate it 6.5/10. Definitely worth a listen, it's an experience.

Until the next time;

Dean

New Year, New Blog

2009-01-26T15:48:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone.

Firstly, Happy Chinese New Year....for yesterday. I didn't do anything spectacularly Asian yesterday; mostly chilled at home not much else. Also, Happy Australia Day for yesterday. I personally don't really celebrate Australia Day; I don't have a history of celebrating it, and honestly, I don't take much interest in it.

With the coming of the new year, I have decided that to start up my blog posting again, with slight changes in the way I post. Firstly, I am honestly going to try post a blog at least once a week, so that in the future I can read what my thoughts were at a particular date. For the purposes of nostalgia, you might say. Secondly, I'm not going to use pictures anymore, because I can no longer be bothered to look up images on Google and potentially have people sue me because I didn't ask for permission to post up pictures. Screw that.

Thirdly, I'm going to post even less personal information up than I already do; reasons for this are that if I was going to tell someone something deep/honest/heartfelt/all of the above, then I would just tell it to their face, not be vague on some stupid internet publication that anyone can read. Also, it might me just me, but when I read those secretively addressed blogs, I feel kind of awkward and uncomfortable, like I just intruded on an intimate moment. There's my justification; rate it or hate it.

Now on to actual blogging; because our school is especially conscientious (read: feels guilty that they let us off 2 weeks before everyone else last year), I am going back to school tomorrow, on the 28th of January, 2009, instead of when most other school go back, the 2nd of February. Not that I don't like our earlier start; I think it'd be more productive than sitting at home all day playing GBA emulator, sleeping and working (occasionally). Also, truth be told, I'm kind of excited to go to Year 12, the most intense and important year of schooling in my teenage life so far; the year which can decide careers and future lifestyles. So yeah, it would be fair to say that I'm going to go all-out balls to the wall this time. Not like Year 10. Sleeping in class =S

So far, I'm not particularly nervous. In previous years, there has been a slight period of transition, usually the first week and a half, that gives me a bit of grief (not stress; stress is a false medical condition), but after this week and a half, everything is peachy. The biggest jump in terms of workload and scaryness (lol, is that a word?) was probably Year 8 to Year 9 strangely enough; in Year 8 I did all my homework in class and never studied (which probably explains my less than impressive grades at that time). Year 9 was a jump; I suddenly didn't have time in class to finish homework; I was busy trying to actually finish classwork. Most people say Year 10 to 11 is a jump; not so for me. It just has more homework. Sometimes. Occasionally. Maybe.

Retrospect is a wonderful thing.

I shall leave it here for now; here's to a new year, and a new blog!

Cheers,

Dean

Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year

2008-12-21T22:11:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone.

Sorry i haven't been posting more often like I should; i've been capped for the last week and a half; a week and a half of sub-dial up agony. Loading this new post window probably would have taken me 8 hours. Not that you would find my blogs particularly interesting; but hey, we're in the holidays, and holidays, if nothing else, are boring. But i digress; there goes my "post more blogs in the holidays" resolution :S

Embarrased bunny.

And herein lies another problem of infrequent blogging; you forget tonnes of stuff that happened to you. It's been almost 2 weeks since i last blogged; and frankly, i don't remember half of what has happened. This isn't because i take drugs or go drinking frequently like some white guys (i'm so racist haw haw); in fact it's probably because nothing much of interest has happened. I've been out quite often; maybe 3 or 4 days a week for the past 2 weeks, but i really haven't done much else.

Well i guess i'll start with something scholarly; the VCE results were released on the 15th. A lot of happy people, a lot of not so happy people. It's a pretty new experience for me; waiting nervously at 7AM for the SMS to hit my phone inbox, and bang; when it got there, i couldn't bare to look at my phone. Instead, i hit the sheets for a bit longer; i.e. 3 hours until i woke up again, and read it.

My first reaction was...well....nothing really. I just felt this sort of hollowness inside, a sort of blank space. I checked the SMS again, to make sure i didn't read it incorrectly. Again, blank insides. I'm in Year 11, so i did 1 VCE unit 3/4 sequence; accounting. I guess i did ok; i was hoping to do a bit better, but i guess it's nothing to complain about. Well done 2008 Accounting 3/4 Year 11 class; i think 3/4 (ahaha i'm so funny) of our class got 40 and above; i think it's testament to how hard our class worked over the year, and our determination to let a substandard start to accounting (with Spiderman. Ahem. In-joke) throw us off working hard. Congratulations also to all the other Year 11's who completed a 3/4 sequence; especially those that did fulfilled their expectations. Now we only got 5 or 6 to worry about next year haha. Oh and of course, congratulations to all Year 12's. SCHOOL IS FINISHED FOR YOU GUYS. Enjoy the next few months of freedom; they'll be your last. *Ominous Laughter*

This is supposed to convey neutrality somehow....hmm, perhaps a flag of Switzerland would have worked better.

Anyway, my accounting result should be sufficient to get me a Uni Accounting spot next year. I think Uni Accounting should be a good experience; i'll be able to sample what University life is like (if only a taste), and see how the whole thing works; possibly make some good friends along the way. Oh and obviously 5.5 increment to ENTER score helps as well. The only problem is that it's held at Melbourne University....on Tuesday nights. So effectively, my 8 hour school day is extended to 11 and a half hours. Yikes. Hopefully my not-so-great Year 11 report is good enough for the University to accept. Must work harder in Methods; careless mistakes, tut tut!

I've also been doing a spot of reading. I've read 1 English book for next year; In the Lake of the Woods. It's a pretty good book, about one's past, escaping one's past, the distortion of truth, and the inconclusiveness of conclusion (paradoxical, eh?). I found it to be pretty interesting. I also watched the Last Samurai after reading the book (unfortunately it stars Tom Cruise); i think they deal with the same concepts; though the degree of guilt and escape varies. It's a good book; i recommend it to those that don't have it on their booklist next year; it's an interesting read that makes you think.

This is probably the last blog post for the year; I'm off to Sydney tomorrow, to catch up with a few friends, and enjoy the sunshine and beaches. It will be good; a change of scenery after 2 dreary years in Melbourne should do me some good.

Until the next time;
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,

Dean

Week 1: Holidays

2008-12-04T01:30:00.000-08:00

Greetings;

Weekly entry for the blog again; another busy yet fun week for me. Where to start?

Well Monday was the Orientation day for the Year 12's of 2009; pretty much it was just an excuse for teachers to haul us in on the first real day of our holidays so they could give us holiday homework. How very dog of them. It wasn't too bad though, there's not much homework for the holidays; i plan to do it in the last 2 weeks of the holidays; not for procrastination purposes, but to make sure i don't do it too early so that i completely forget whatever i was supposed to revise/do. Unfortunately, i've already finished my chemistry holiday homework; it was fairly easy; just fill in some crap onto a sheet. Meh, one less thing to do i guess.

Tuesday was a more sedate affair; kind of just bummed around the house and relaxed. Not much else to say i guess.

I love my sleep

Wednesday was a fairly hectic day; had to wake up mega early so that i could make it to Year 9 orientation day. As House Prefect, one of the (most annoying and painful, it has to said) duties expected of us is to help the year 9's adjust to the Senior School system of tutor groups, house masters, lockers, and i guess to get to know them better. I was going into this expected a bunch of nervous, quietly spoken kids who wouldn't open up to us. Oh, how i was wrong.

Turns out these new Year 9's are a bunch of idiotic, loud-mouth arrogant pricks who don't have respect for anyone older than them; at risk of sounding like an old man, i have to vent my spleen. Not only did these kids disobey their House Master, but they had the nerve to pay out their House Prefects; as their elders and betters (judging upon their display of douchebaggery). I don't remember such a little shitface in Year 9; i think i would have been a more quiet and reserved kid in Year 9. We then had to cook up a BARBECUE for these ungrateful shits. It wasn't as bad as i thought it would be; the burgers we grilled up actually tasted pretty good; i didn't trust the greasy plastic-looking sausages; so i passed by them. Oh well; i made sure to serve myself before the small Year 9's who were angrily demanding that we should serve them, and that it was their right to eat before others. I cheerily ate my two burgers in front of them, and ignored them. Oh well; i got free lunch and did my chances of House Colours no harm. All's well that ends well i guess.

Not actually my hand or barbecue; just felt like adding a picture :D

Today was a really good day; i still had to get up early, but this time for a fun time; FUTSAL TIME (Futsal is like indoor soccer with no rebounds). I'm a soccer nut and will generally jump at any opportunity to play soccer with friends. It was quite good; i found the heavier futsal ball easier to dribble around and run at speed with; it makes passing a bit weird; i put a bit too much pace on some of my passes, but overall, i think i enjoy Futsal more than outdoor soccer. I want to play now :D

Futsal is great

After Futsal, a couple of friends and I went to Box Hill Central to get some food; i was absolutely starving after Futsal. I got this pasta thing for $7.80; it was a massive plate of ravioli, a piece of garlic bread, and a Coke. Pretty good value; i was absolutely stuffed after eating the pasta. We then bummed around Box Hill for a bit more before i went home and slept for a bit; I then woke up to go to the Book Exchange to buy second-hand textbooks for next year ;D

So yeah, a pretty full on week for me; tomorrow should be a much quieter affair; picking up my new glasses, which i'm pleased to note aren't mega-thick hardcore Asian glasses; just normal glasses. Also of pleasing note; my eyesight hasn't got any worse, but i think my left eye is slightly more astigmatic than before. Damn.

Oh well, i've written too much; i'm starting to lose structure and ramble.

Until the next post;

Dean

Slippery ;D

2008-11-30T03:16:00.000-08:00

Good Hello.

Been a fun and busy week since my last blog post.

Well the best development since my last post is that Unit 2 exams for our school are officially over. That alone is totally newsworthy; my last exam was the dreaded Physics exam (which is my worst subject, except Engrish D:) Going in to the exam, i felt this strange sense of harmony and tranquility; i had studied; i felt no guilt, or nervousness at the exam; i was gonna go in there, and do it.

The famous Nike slogan serves me well.

In the end, i found that the exam wasn't too bad; it was a pretty long exam, but i managed to finish with about 10 minutes to spare. It was also pretty difficult; i found myself guessing how to do some questions with some questionable formula rearranging and substitution. Seeing as most people who did the physics exam didn't even finish it, i felt worse afterwards; now i know i screwed up somewhere along the lines; i fail at physics; i should be finding it more difficult than everyone. Bleh.

Not funny, and not really.

Besides Unit 2 exams finishing, there were parties! Parties are fun :D First one of note was Saturday's party at Steph Larkin's house; before going there i felt kind of apprehensive; i only knew the host, Steph, and Farn, who goes to my school, well. So it's me with about 27 other strangers. Oh well, i will have to rely on my "charming wit and awesome personality to win people over" *Sarcasm*. But really, it was actually quite awesome; i met a lot of new people; people who are friendly, relaxed, and fun people to talk to and get to know; i also got to put a few faces to names that have been thrown around in the ether. Good times; even if it was a bit raucous at time :D I also met the largest contingency of gamers ever; people bought their laptops, and DS' to the party; which is kind of cool actually; people who aren't afraid to express their favoured hobbies for fear of ridicule; these people are cool. All in all, it was a really fun party, even if i had to walk home at midnight -_-;

Justification time: party was good, because choice activities include:

1: Being called Dave for half the time.
2: Stealing food.
3: Meeting new people
4: Realizing the moving carpet was actually a dog.
5: Tossing a balloon full of rice around in the backyard.
6: Racist jokes (all in good humour of course ;D)
7: Laughing at people playing Spit.
8: Laughing at stories of drunken revelry.
9: Laughing at lame jokes/people.
10: Not being at home.

So as you can see, quite a kickass party. Now i need Left 4 Dead on PC so i can play with these cool people :D

Moving on. 2nd party was Farn-Ling's party; held at Chadstone. Firstly, Chadstone has had a massive upgrade/reconstruction; being the home-body that i am, i haven't been to Chadstone in months. And man, is it unrecognisable. It is like 5 times bigger than i remember, and all the shops are relocated/bigger/destroyed/non-existant; it's quite disconcerting; i feel like an even bigger social outcast/loser than before. Damn it, I'm such a loser.

Me, except i don't have a cool hat >_<

Anyways, first port of call was to go bowling; now i'm pretty shit at bowling, but with the bumpers on, it was pretty fun. Next we went to watch Quantum of Solace. Now i've heard (even with my limited social exposure) that this new Bond movie is quite...well, shit. Granted, it isn't the worst movie i've seen, but there are a number of weird plotholes/illogical sequences of events (i won't spoil for those that haven't seen it) that are a bit confusing, and made worse by the fact that i can't really remember what happened in the first movie. Damn.

Yuck. Tomorrow we have some orientation day for Year 12, which is really only likely to be handing out holiday homework for various subjects next year. Which sucks. A lot. Waking up at 9 probably won't be my forte; i've had precious little sleep over the past few days and really, opening my eyes in the morning is becoming more and more of a struggle (racist joke not intended).

So, i'll probably leave it there for now; i want an early night; i'll probably listen to music on my *gasp* NEWLY REPAIRED 4G 40GB iPod. Yes that is right people, i have managed to revive my dead iPod. Now i have a fully functioning MP3 player, that money saved up for iPod Nano can now be put to better uses (i.e. Paying off the phone bill -_-;). Damn it, i'm blabbing now.

"And as always, England Prevails"
(You win a metaphorical cookie if you can tell me what movie that comes from)

Dean

Tired.

2008-11-21T18:31:00.000-08:00

Hello.

Exams are now well and truly underway; yesterday was absolutely killer; History in the morning, then the 2 Methods exams for the rest of the day. Needless to say, my wrists and hands were in some serious hurting. But all in all, i felt that the exams weren't too bad so far; History was quite long, and the space given was quite short, but i think i did ok; since i'm not doing History next year, it wasn't really a priority exam for me; i did a little bit of study for it on the Sunday; only about an hour in total.

Maths on the other hand, was a much higher priority exam. Since I'm doing it next year, people say it's fairly difficult to score highly, and the simple fact that i am rubbish at maths, meant that i had to seriously knuckle down and do some study. After the exams, i felt ok about them, but i realised i'd already lost about 3 marks at least on the first paper; when the first paper is only out of 30, that has probably cost me an A+. Shit. Probability, you are my nemesis. Second exam was easier; easier in that losing a couple of marks probably won't cost you an A+; but meh; i know i lost at least 3 marks on that one as well. Ah well, it's over now. Nothing much i can do about it.

Figure A: Me after exam.

Well the weekend is here, and i can scarcely be bothered to do anything; i might do a bit of other revision later on; Othello quotes and thematic analysis will have to wait until later tonight. I'm actually a little bit excited at the moment; i'm going out for dinner tonight with some family friends who i haven't seen in over a year; with school and all commitments, we don't really have much time to see each other. Ironic that the dinner gets arranged during the busiest period of school for me; oh well, i'm not complaining; there's a lot of fun and catching up to do.

Bloody hell it's cold; i forgot to close the windows in my room last night, and i woke up absolutely freezing; not that that is unusual; it was more like i woke up because there was rain water splashing on my face; yuck. Right now it's 8 degrees; it's raining, the wind is furious and it's hailing as well. Though 10 minutes ago it was sunny. That's Melbourne weather for you i guess.

Anyways, i just wanted to get some thoughts down onto the blog for today.

Catch you all later,

Dean

Rush

2008-11-18T21:40:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone.

Been a week since I last blogged (i think). I've been trying to post new stuff up regularly, but most of the time i can't really be bothered thinking up stuff i find (and hopefully you as a reader) interesting. Regular blogging be damned; I'm way too lazy to commit; it also lets me laze around online instead of typing and forcing myself to be semi-productive (typing stuff out, however irrelevant).

Well; where to start. I really haven't done much today; not much besides bludging around the house, playing FIFA 09, trying to get Puppy Linux to work, not getting Puppy Linux to work, raging, raging at my computer, raging at Physics practice papers and eating noodles. Totally awesome, eh? But you might have gleaned from this paragraph that i indeed have been doing REVISION in preparation for my Unit 2 exams. Yes that is right ladies and gentlemen, me, the laziest and most procrastinating person in the world, have made a conscious effort to revise and do stuff. Boo ya. But i guess i really need to study this time; with most of the emphasis of my academic studies on my (now gone) Unit 4 accounting exam (and i really didn't even do much study for that either), i've kind of fallen behind with regards to material from other subjects. That, and i've been too lazy to catch up beforehand; now i'm paying the price; i.e. copious amounts of raging towards new and unfamiliar subject matter and time wasting at learning and revising these new topics and stuff. Yuck.

Ape pictures are the best.

You might be wondering why i was at home doing nothing instead of going to school; my last formal day of Year 11 was 2 days ago; this means that i can bludge at home and not worry about getting up early in the mornings any more, at least until next year.

A curious thing happened 2 days ago; the neighbor's cat got stuck in our garage. Again. Weird huh? Apparently my mum was checking the mail, then closed the garage door, only to trap a curious cat which was hiding under the car. Only about 5 hours later, when it was pitch black at night, did i hear the yowling of it. The neighbours then knocked on the door, asking me to free the cat, and i did so, in my typical awkward, apologetic and embarrased manner.

Opening the door was a little scary; it was pitch black, and my neighbour, who smelt like a billion stale cigarettes, was unshaven, and dressed in a thug-like hoodie and track pants. Kinda scary; i didn't recognise him and thought i was going to get mugged xD. In reality though, he's a pretty cool guy; his name is Scott and he's a easy going guy; he's an architect who has a really badass van (it has cool decals on it; not like ricing flames and shit, just well-rendered text). They had a house warming party when they moved in, and i played xbox with the guy. He's chill. I also know him because....well, it's kind of embarrasing, but their cat has been locked in our garage before; it seems to like the strange darkness of our garage, and the leaky roof and myriad of cardboard boxes. Hmm, i feel like making a cardboard box fort now. I miss those days D:

BTW that's not my house or cardboard boxes; don't think i actually made it and took a picture of it :P

I guess the moral of that random aside is: don't judge people by what they look like.
Also, don't own a stupid cat who gets into habits of sneaking into other people's houses, because the last thing you want to do is be cleaning up after the cat pisses on the cardboard boxes >_>

Ah well, shit happens.

Until the next time,

Dean

Friday-itis

2008-11-13T23:36:00.000-08:00

'Evening.

It's been a school week since I last put an entry up, and man, has it been a busy one. Let's start with the most exciting thing so far; I got house prefect. For those that don't know, at the school I go to, the students are divided up into groups, termed "Houses". We then, as "houses", compete in various aspects of school activites; e.g. music, sport and drama. Despite the "oh cool" factor of the House Prefect title, it really isn't as cool or as flashy as i thought it would be; i got this silver badge thing i get to stick on my blazer, but apart from that, it really isn't that big of a deal. In fact, i'm actually kind of happy about it; i thought i would act all immature and parade, but i think i've been surprisingly low-key about it (for me, i guess). I think it's because i don't the House colours yet; a red striped fabric that gets sowed (i think) across the blazer pocket; that looks really nice. So no bragging yet :P

Not that kind of House, noob

So far, my duties include handing out and collecting hymn books, taking the role, and preparing for the new Year 9 boys' initiation into our house group. Not much so far, but i guess i'm willing to try and do a good job of it; enough of picking on Year 10's, i have to take responsibility for once, and be a role model for the younger element of the house. Maybe.

In terms of jobs, larger and more grandiose duties await next year. Besides this morsel of news, i guess the week was pretty boring; i really haven't done much in terms of life-changing experiences or the like; all in all, a pretty dull week on that front (I lied about the week being busy ;D).

Unit 1/2 exams are fast approaching, and i've yet to begin any form of meaningful revision; strangely, the most revision i've done for a subject is Methods; about an hour a night, and it's one of my better subjects (i.e. that i'm not fearfully shitting my pants about). The exams that i'm pretty worried about are Chemistry and Physics; i can barely remember anything besides electronics from physics; this subject will require a lot of work and revision, whilst Chemistry, which i'm slightly more familiar with, has a lot more subject matter to cover and revise. Oh woe is me. Besides these science-oriented subjects, there is English (which i can't really be bothered worrying about), Chinese (which i can't really study for) and History (which.....well, it's history), all of which have taken a lower priority.

Sums up my mood quite well.

Friday-itis has truly struck; I promised myself i'd try to do some homework or revision on Fridays; except my motivation levels have reached an all time low after the Unit 4 exams finished; I've reverted to my typical "never-do-jackshit-on-a-Friday" mentality; it seems my weekly episode of Bleach, PSP and FIFA 09 marathon is due for a run through. Ahhh me.

I'll probably leave it there for now; the "never-do-jackshit-on-a-Friday" is seeping into my blogging.

Adios,

Dean

These berries taste like......burning.

2008-11-10T00:28:00.000-08:00

Howdy.

Back again, posting my Monday blog.

Fairly uneventful day today; woke up early to go to school via tram. In fact, i woke up extra early just to put in my contact lenses; yes, laugh at me, but after almost a month of not wearing contact lenses, my eyes have reverted to their typically annoying hyperreflexive mode; any time i put my finger near my eye, the damn thing starts blinking like a car headlight; it's only the left eye as well, which is somewhat strange, seeing as my left eye has worse vision that my right. How peculiar. But it took 15 minutes to put in two contact lenses; 15 MINUTES for bloody plastic that i'm going to throw away in 8 hours time. Well, to put it proportionally, 14:40 minutes for the left eye, 20 seconds for the right eye.

The bane of my sleeping habits

Which really brings me onto the next section of this blog/rant. I hate glasses. They are stupid and impractical, and they make you look (in general) stupid and ridiculous. Let me unpack this bite of anger for you:

>> They are impractical.
Yes, glasses are impractical. Anyone who's worn them before can attest to this; when you wear glasses, and walk between environments of opposite temperature, they tend to fog up and become opaque, completely defeating the purpose of wearing glasses. Same principle when eating soup/noodles/any food that is hot; you get the fog and then the blindness as you take the glasses off. Also, when you go out into rain, the water tends to stick onto the glass, causing abnormalities in the refractive index of the glass/plastic, causing distortions of vision; simple version: they suck on rainy days.

Also, generally speaking, you can't play rough physical sports in glasses. The slightest of bumps and they go flying; Murphy's Law stipulates that whilst on the ground there is extremely high probability that irreparable damage will occur, . Yes indeed; it happened in P.E. today; we were playing soccer, and Jeffers "Wang-Man" got his glasses smacked off his face by a stray elbow, and they were nearly stepped on in the resulting scramble for the ball.

>>They look stupid.
Most people look stupid/silly/nerdy/plain ridiculous in glasses. Especially those people with disproportionally small faces and massive thick "A-Z-N" glasses; yes, you know the ones, thick frames, all manner of gaudy colors, stupid.

Exhibit A.

Even stupider are the coloured contact lenses; much to my horror, i've seen Asians with blue or gray or green colour contacts; they look "mad ridiculous and a laughing stock" in the words of Ali G. Enough said.

Most people generally look stupid with glasses on. Accept it people; no matter how flashy or expensive your glasses are, you look slightly foolish. I look stupid in glasses. Contacts aren't to my liking either; sticking some artificial plastic crap in your eye regularly probably isn't the healthiest of habits, and the possibility of infection is serious, with blindness a real and likely consequence of negligence when taking care of contact lenses. And also, maybe this is me, but i always get this incredibly uncomfortable burning sensation in my left eye after wearing contacts; probably too many attempts at poking plastic in my eye. As such, my savings goal is to be able to afford laser eye surgery.

Ahh; blogging is such liberation; the release of anger is wonderful.

Onto lighter matters; Liverpool with a strong 3-0 victory over West Bromwich Albion; Robbie Keane finally broke his EPL duck with a well taken brace. But there is a more pressing soccer matter; MANCHESTER UNITED lost to Arsenal; and in fairly convincing fashion as well; Van der Sar with some questionable goalkeeping decisions, sloppy and wasteful finishing (see Rooney), wasteful players in general (see Giggs), chokes (see Ronaldo) and sheer defensive failure; well Mr Neville, perhaps your time has past. I was quite impressed however, with the new right back Rafael; strong in the tackle, good dribbling skills and a great finish in the dying minutes of the match. Passing possibly needs a bit of work, but he's young yet.

Downloaded and Listening to Kings of Leon's "new-ish" album, Only By the Night. Not a bad set of tracks by my tastes; definitely worth a listen.

Anyways, my eyes are burning and inspiration is flagging.

See you all later,

Dean

It is done.

2008-11-06T02:05:00.000-08:00

Yo.

Today is the 6th of November (obviously). This date is significant, as it marks the Unit 4 accounting exam, which is probably the most important exam of my life so far (well, on equal par with the Unit 3 exam). I don't do Methods 3/4, because I fail at maths :P

wtf.

So yes, I got up today at 6:30, to watch the Champions League coverage of Fiorentina vs Bayern Munich. Pretty good game actually, lots of chances created by Fiorentina, who were supremely unlucky to draw with Bayern; they outplayed the Germans for most of the match. So fairly good, if tiring start to the day. Then had a big breakfast; cereal, banana, apple, yoghurt and a boiled egg (I'm a fatty, i know. Fuel for exams :D). 'Twas quite satisfying. By that time it was only 9:00, and my exam started at 11:45. Hmm, I didn't exactly know what to do with the time; i tried to bludge around the house, but got bored, and simply decided to go to school early, and try to bludge it out there xD.

Well i got on the tram, and there were a few women who were all dressed up for the races; maybe it's just me, but i don't fully understand this culture of the "races". To me it seems like an excuse to wear a suit/fancy dress and get drunk. This generalisation is probably misguided, but i really don't have any other basis or source for comparison.

I think i heard on the news, $140 million was spent on bets for the races. Jeez, that is a lot of money from a lot of people wasted on a race with to be honest, pretty bad odds for victory, especially in these times of economic hardship.

That's me :D

But i digress; i got to school, and sat around waiting for my fellow accounting students to arrive. And then i finally began to experience some form of nervousness. You see, for the past few days, i really haven't been panicking like i should; i remember for the Unit 3 exam, i was actually scared, and studied like crazy prior to the exam. This time however, i really haven't studied as much as i would have liked, or should have. Instead i've been playing FIFA 09. Oh dear. This means:

A) I have improved, and don't need to study
B) Learned to relax
C) Gotten lazy.

Out of those three options, i think C is the most likely :( But regardless, i did study, and going into the exam, i felt a little bit of confidence (though highly tempered with nervousness and anxiety). The exam itself wasn't too bad; overall i would have classified it as a relatively hard paper (in comparison to previous papers, and practice papers); since the new syllabus has come out, they have to test it out. And we get to be the guinea pigs. Oh well, such is life.

Walking out of the exam, i felt reasonably confident with my answers. But much to my chagrin, i didn't feel a great sense of relief and freedom. Probably as a result of not studying as hard or as stressfully as the Unit 3 exam. Blech.

Hmm, time is fleeting, and Prisonbreak is on TV soon (Don't laugh, downloading TV shows would rape my bandwidth). So i shall leave it here for tonight; i've blabbed on about nothing for long enough.

Until the next time;

Cheers,

Dean

The Home Stretch.

2008-11-02T23:06:00.000-08:00

Hello again readers.

Today is Melbourne Cup Weekend, and I have spent the majority of it revising for my Unit 4 accounting, and playing FIFA 09. Unfortunately, i think the proportion of FIFA 09 to study is approximately 70:30; in other words, not too productive.

Too much accounting study = Tomato Soup can

Not that i don't want to study; motivation isn't really a problem for me. It's just that accounting is so repetitive; "Why does this happen, why does that happen", and it's always the same answer, over and over again; just adjust pro-forma answer for example in question. It's actually quite frustrating; i'm trying to revise, but my brain just shuts down after about an hour and a half from pure boredom.

I say that all the answers are all the same; but deep down i know that in the exam they're going to throw some absolute bitch of a question at us; it always happens. Since last year got a relatively easy end of year exam, we get the relatively hard end of year exam. Just like midyear; most of our class sat in the exam thinking we were going to finish with 40 minutes left, and ace it. Turns out half the class didn't finish, and the ones that finished had 5 minutes left. The theory questions weren't all that straightforward either, and the practical work was confusing as hell. Stupid trends. So that fear of super hard questions and wrist pain in the Unit 4 exam has sort of pushed me to revise hard, and lay down solid foundations for the exam.

Sure.

Speaking of (in my case, potential) failure:

Carragher heads into his own net. FUCK.

Liverpool was defeated by Tottenham, 2-1. That is aggravating.
GODDAMNITMAIKOCHAN.

For you non-EPL players out there, Tottenham were the bottom ranked team of the table, ready for relegation, whilst Liverpool, (semi) fresh off a win over Chelski and Pompey, LOST to the strugglers. But i guess i really shouldn't be surprised; Tottenham, despite their lowly position, do have a really strong squad; full of talented youngsters like Modric, Corluka and others, like Pavlyuchenko and etc. They did spend a lot of money in the transfer season. Liverpool on the other hand, are a bit of a choke; they can't sustain any form over any period of time; by my wild powers of prediction, i think that this is the match that costs them the title; Liverpool, like previous seasons, are just far too inconsistent to sustain a title challenge.

Enough bitching about Liverpool's failures; dinner's ready.

Oh; to those people who've finished Biology 3/4 and Further Maths 3/4 exams; congratulations, part of the pain of VCE is over; rest for a bit, relax, and enjoy the sweet scent of freedom :D

Laters,

Dean

Oh so close.

2008-10-30T02:32:00.000-07:00

Howdy everyone.

Blogging again, when i really should be doing other things that are more productive; i.e. study for physics test tomorrow and ACCOUNTING UNIT 4 EXAM. But meh, here i am. I find blogging to be quite soothing and relaxing; a good way to blow off steam. I've just finished my history powerpoint presentation; a report on the Warsaw Ghetto.

Not that kind of Steam, but i do like the digital distribution system of Steam. But i digress.

Not a bad topic; in fact i find history quite interesting, but not when other subjects that i plan to continue in Year 12 are on the table; quite literally in fact; i tend to neglect my history homework in favour of maths or chemistry homework; i.e. the science subjects that i will continue, and will steer me in good stead for future courses in university. What an asian, right? xD

An unfortunate lethargy has taken hold over me these past few days; a lethargy that i can't shake; unfortunately it's related to study; specifically ACCOUNTING study. A week from possibly the most important exam in my life yet, and i can't be at all bothered to study it. I think i'm sick of the current accounting course; just constant repetition of the course, over and over again. What this means is that i'm not studying for the important stuff, and just bludging at home, by doing the bare minimum homework and bare minimum study necessary to scrap through (by an Asian's standard, anyway).

The Asian standard of not failing.

This lazyness in fact, scares me. If i can't cope with the boredom of going through a subject's course in a year where i don't have large study obligations, how will i cope with 6 subjects next year? Each with equal importance and equal effort necessary? Will i be super slack like the Year 12's of this year appear to be? I don't know. But i think i will try my best; that's what i've been taught to do at school, and i will try to continue this trend. When i think about it, VCE is quite daunting, and frankly, a little unfair. Perhaps it's not VCE that's unfair; perhaps it's the university's expectations of students in order to enter their courses; to miss out on your prefered course, by say 0.1 of a STUDY score, is probably one of the cruelest punishments you can dole out to someone.

Writing this paragraph has somehow motivated me to start studying. On Friday. Maybe.

But it's best to shake off these dark and depressing thoughts; worrying isn't really productive or useful; better to concentrate on the task at hand. Or the soccer scores and highlights, if i'm an example to be followed (probably not).

Anyways, congratulations to the newly accepted Prefects for Year 12 at CGS; the prefect pool is actually pretty good this year, no real shitheads like last year (A certain goalkeeping prefect springs to mind). I'm sure the prefects will actually do their intended jobs this year; good luck to you guys.

Time for a little physics test study; apparently the test is hard.

Adieu to you all,

Dean

"The youth are starting to change....."

2008-10-26T23:49:00.000-07:00

Yo all.

It's been a week since i last touched this blog, and boy, has it been...a weird week? Last week was very very busy; tonnes of chemistry stuff to catch up on, a fair bit of maths, and of course, the obligatory accounting exam papers. As you might imagine, fairly uneventful. Life as a Year 11 student does suck somewhat, and not in a good way.

This image is supposed to convey "lame". Clearly doesn't work >_<

But say, what has happened this past week. I have FIFA 09. Usually i would say that this is clearly a good thing; being a bit of a soccer fan i love anything to do with soccer, especially a simulator that lets me keep Pippo Inzaghi on the bench forever xD However, seeing as the all-important Unit 3 and 4 exams are coming up, this clearly is an (at best) unwanted, or (at worst) a dangerous distraction. I usually don't have much problems when it comes to studying or self-motivation; however, i have been waiting for FIFA 09 to come out for ages. Whilst playing however, i reached a startling conclusion; I'm 17. I'm in high school, approaching the most important year of my life, and I'm still playing video games and procrastinating with regards to study.

Then it struck me; will i always be this addicted to video games? What about in the future when i've got a good job and living well; will i still commit this much time to video games; hell, not just video games, this much time to recreational activites? As much as they're a bit of a bad influence, they are a means of escapism; similar to how people go to the movies to relax and escape the terrible world we live in nowadays; will i have the time to enjoy myself like i am now?

Meh to those dark and slightly depressing thoughts; I have new shoes! =0
Yes that is right; my FUBAR shovel shoes are off and in the cupboard, awaiting repairs, whilst i have a new pair of shiny (and soccerworthy) school shoes.

Oh Happy Day!

Whilst i did buy these new shoes for lunchtime soccer playing purposes (hence the fairly cheap price tag), i admit having second thoughts; these shoes are quite shiny, and don't altogether look that bad. Considering they were only $30, they were quite a good buy. I'm a sucker for new stuff; i hate having to expose it to situations that could potentially ruin it. Hmm, *cue philosophical musing*

But then again, that's what i said with the other pair of shoes my dad got me, the real expensive ones; i committed myself to not play soccer in them, and 1 and a half years later, and many lunchtimes later, they are nigh unwearable from damage and mistreatment. Lack of self discipline sucks sometimes, doesn't it? Besides the school shoes, i also got a pair of chequered slip-on shoes xD They are quite trippy to look at, and very comfortable to wear. Very satisfying purchase :D

Anyways, dinner awaits; i will have to leave it here for today.

Cheers,
Dean

Monday Bloody Mondays.

2008-10-20T01:51:00.000-07:00

Howdy y'all.

It's 7:51 as of now, and I'm on the computer right now. I need to chill out from school, so what do i do? i blog xD Reading that statement, I probably would have laughed at myself a couple of months ago; my misinformed opinion was that only stupid emo-kids blog. Either way, I'm wrong, or a stupid emo-kid. Consider me a more enlightened person :P

Today is a very special day for me. It marks a significant period of time that i have spent with a certain person that means a lot to me. You should all know who i'm talking about. I can honestly say that i've change for the better after being around and with this person. This person has changed my life. To that person, thank you.

Anyways, what to write, eh? Well my activities today are a good place to start i suppose. Got up at 7 and felt stoned. Fell out of bed. Made breakfast. Spilt milk on my pants. Swore. Cleaned up. Packed lunch and all that jazz. Went to school early because Jon had early bio class. Got to school, still felt stoned. Day flew by. Oh, and ACCOUNTING SPARE PERIOD =O To quote Mr Hutton; "Sorry, boys, I have to organise tomorrow's award giving ceremony, i'm too lazy to teach you. You have home leave."

Celebrations ensue

Yes. Instead of playing soccer on the synthetic surface, i did maths homework in the library. How very nerdy. Shudder in horror folks, i did homework instead of play the world game. How very embarrasing. Lunchtime soccer was great; a great way to spend an otherwise boring and unproductive (since when was soccer productive?) lunchtime. I've given up trying to look after my shoes; they're already FUBAR, and well, the effort of consciously avoiding the soccer ball and looking like an Asian weakling has finally gotten to me; i capitulate. So soccer it is from now on.

However, there is one thing that pisses me off during lunchtime soccer; it's the little shits that plague the JTO (synthetic surface); yes, those annoying little smurf things. I don't remember being that annoying and kicking away other people's balls just to appeal to the idiotic mob mentality of middle school rabbles. I wish those kids would just piss off and mind their own business; everyone would be better off minding their own games; harmony would reign at lunchtime. (I think I'll stop there, before i sound too pathetic.)

Anyway, my inspiration has taken flight; my thought deserted. I'll leave it at that tonight; time to check the soccer for this week. A good victory by Liverpool, Dirk Kuyt popping up late in the match to snatch victory. You'll never walk alone!

Laters,

Dean

GODDAMNITMAIKOCHAN

2008-10-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

'Sup.

I'm going to try and commit to this blog now, because i want to have a record of myself and my feelings right now, so i can look back on this blog in a couple of years, and laugh at myself :D

"Commitment means to duty or pledge to something or someone, and can refer to personal commitment, interaction dominated by obligations. These obligations may be mutual, or self-imposed, or explicitly stated, or may not. Distinction is often made between commitment as a member of an organisation (such as a sporting team, a religion, or as an employee), and a personal commitment, which is often a pledge or promise to ones' self for personal growth.".....Stolen from wikipedia.

Hahaha, i like the way "self-imposed" has connotations of abstinence xD. Maybe it's just my dirty mind. Also, "personal growth"....hmmm, that sounds interesting. Recording my thoughts down could help with psychological growth or something? Sounds like one of those dream catcher thingos. But i digress; based upon that definition, i highly doubt i'll have the drive to continually update this blog, but one can try, no?

Well, today was...well, fairly gay. Woke up at 9 with the WORST back stiffness ever. Had to brace myself before getting up as well, and still i can't straighten my back D: So i'm perched here in my chair, hunched over like a Neanderthal, unhappy and in pain. Oh well; work through the pain, to get the gain....or something; i'm hoping quoting a venerable religious man (Rev. Butler) will get some credibility; the fact that i can paraphrase his words proves that i have sort of LISTENED in R.E.

Shock and Awe

Meh. I also found out today i left my chemistry stuff in my locker; i had quite a bit of chem stuff to catch up on; that probably means i'll be behind in chem; not an attractive proposition; for any class, but for chem, it's especially bad D: Also, i haven't done the practice papers for accounting i was given on Friday; such is my lazyness. I think my mind has convinced itself after such a traumatic week (not) at school, i deserve a bludge weekend. But this is year 11, and there should be no bludge/non-productive weekends.

Sums up my weekend, really.

So, i shall endeavour to start doing some accounting study tonight; but i don't really know where i'm gonna start. Maybe look at some old unit 3 theory stuff, and some of the handouts; meh. The task seems huge already.

Adieu,

Dean

Erm.....how does this go again?

2008-10-18T03:36:00.000-07:00

Hallo,

Kinda first time I've posted a real blog or anything, so let's see how this goes. Reading/stalking other people's blogs hasn't really given me an idea of what you're really supposed to write on blogs; given that everyone is an individual, I guess that there really isn't some pro-forma you can apply to blogs. Blech, look at that. I've already written a paragraph on something as trivial as not knowing how to write a blog. D:

Well i guess i'll start out with what i pulled today; woke up at 8:45.....to Miley Cyrus on the radio....>_>...so not a very good start. Rushed through breakfast so i could make it to Captain's Badminton. For those who don't know, CGS boys have to do mandatory Saturday sport...and Captain's Badminton is like a team of mega-duds. Mind you, i am quite shit at badminton, but the primary reason for doing it is because i don't have to go to MSAC every single Saturday, or worse, Kilsyth (i don't know how to spell that). Instead, i just bludge at school. I think if i tried i might make it into a squad, but.....*ego inflates*
...meh. Badminton was pretty good; a couple of friends were there; Darshan, Bryan Yat, Tuck-Seng, and it was pretty fun just smacking the shuttlecock (ignore the possibly crude humour there) around.

After badminton, mum called from Camberwell Safeway; she said she cbf pick me up. So i walked about 10 mins to Safeway from school, and yeah. Nothing interesting in terms of purchases. After going home, I bludged. Played a bit of FIFA 08 manager mode; this is really addictive; I've been managing Juventus for the past few days, and i've finally got enough saved up so i can buy Xabi Alonso and Xavi for the midfield :P FIFA 08 is awesome but i want 09; someone pirate and give to me please? :D

I know, I'm such a dork, right?

Bah. I probably should have done hw or study or something this weekend; but lately i've been so uninspired; Accounting 3/4 exam is only 2 and a half weeks away, and I haven't started studying; the topic of Profitability is uber-boring; i find it hard to concentrate in class when i really should be sponging the teacher's advice and....teaching xD. Added to the fact that next year I intend to do Uni Accounting, i should really concentrate on this topic; and accounting in general. Meh. Maybe tomorrow :P Other subjects are even worse; this week i've had the worst time ever with Physics; writing up a prac regarding the elasticity of materials and the respective errors in these measurements.

ERRORS. Errors are the tool of the devil. I swear my blood pressure has risen to borderline-hypertension with this bloody prac-demon thing. Everytime i thought i had gotten the process down pat, i would ask someone and they would say they had a completely different process for calculating that crap; their logic undeniable. >_< Meh. I cannot be bothered writing anymore tonight. I shall MSN for a bit, then go to sleep. That pic looks funny :D

Anyways, take care,

Dean